Articles Written By Michael Rottman
TMN Contributing Writer Michael Rottman lives like a lord in Toronto. His miscellany has appeared in print in The Fiddlehead, Grain, and Opium, and online at Yankee Pot Roast, Cracked, News Groper, and McSweeney’s.
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Spoofs & Satire
The Fiery Furnaces Visit the Department of Motor Vehicles
The brother-sister duo’s narrative inclinations take over during a license renewal.
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Spoofs & Satire
Not Everyone “Got” It
In the early days of The Muppet Show, the famous bonhomie between celebrities and their Muppet co-stars wasn’t there yet. Here are the encounters that didn’t make a rainbow connection.
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Spoofs & Satire
Interview With the Genie
For man and djinn alike, a soft economy makes for a tight job market.
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Weird Science
In the Event That You Have Accidentally Swallowed the Higgs Boson
Ingesting a wily particle is no laughing matter. Ten steps of concrete advice to consider before your hands grow to the size of large cities.
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Personal Essays
Meir Comes Clean
Sixty years after the founding of Israel, the pomp-and-circumstance of the anniversary—celebrated last week on the Jewish calendar and today on the secular one—prompts a different sort of recollection.
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Spoofs & Satire
Soulmakers: The Story of Holland / Dozier / Amin
Through all the highs, lows, and violent overthrows, Motown was always about the music. Excerpts from a forthcoming book on the label’s heady days, when a certain Ugandan was tearing through the ranks.
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Spoofs & Satire
Dante, Hero of Sinners
You already have your summer getaway planned—but what about your permanent vacation? Given your options, Hell may be less temperate, but its hidden perks make it well worth the trip.
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Spoofs & Satire
One Possible Outcome of Super Bowl XL
The predictions have been made, the spreads have been laid. So who will reign supreme on Sunday? Anything is possible.
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Spoofs & Satire
Changed Equations That Changed the World
As it turns out, the rules of science are more flexible than you’d think. When you tinker with the mechanics of the universe, however, you’d better be prepared for drastic repercussions.
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Spoofs & Satire
You Only Act Once: The Lesser Bonds
Many actors have attempted to wear the mantle of 007—and many have had their licenses to kill revoked, and not just because of suspicious accents. Here are the reasons why they lost the coveted role, with grievances aired by cast and crew.
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Stories
How Many Names Hath God?
No matter when we say the word God, whether in church or in vain, couldn’t we all use a couple synonyms for the all-mighty one? MICHAEL ROTTMAN examines the many possibilities, e.g., Abraham, or Clapton.