Opinions

A Common Nomenclature for Lego Families

Thousands of different Lego exist, yet when your seven-year-old asks for “a clippy bit,” you know exactly what to hand him. GILES TURNBULL surveys a caucus of children. (Opinions | November 4, 2009)

The Pleasures of Saudade

A year in Lisbon teaches you more than how to select a decent vinho verde. PHILIP GRAHAM shares his love for a uniquely hopeful, desperate music that’s missing from the usual American fare. (Opinions | October 8, 2009)

OK Genius

Apple’s iTunes software claims to be a Genius at making mixes. GILES TURNBULL begs to differ, knowing how mixes should be made, and proposes a duel of “Fingertips.” (Opinions | September 18, 2009)

Queens of the Scatological Age

Next month, one book will be crowned America’s funniest. JAY WEXLER reviews this year’s candidates for the Thurber Prize for American Humor, and tiptoes through the doo-doo. (Opinions | September 17, 2009)

The Author and the Wonderful, Horrible, No Fun, Very Good Day

Nothing is finer than getting your book published. Nothing is worse than the day it comes out. New cookbook author DAVID LEITE documents the misadventures, highs, and woes of publishing (recipe included). (Opinions | September 4, 2009)

Comeuppance

An adolescent tragedy forever changed Laura Bush; but instead of appreciating the sanctity of life—publicly at least—she promotes the reality of death. JAMES McMANUS wonders about the woman who’s always stood by her man. (Op-Ed | March 1, 2007)

The Top 10 Albums of 1980

The dawn of a new decade saw punk rock fading away, or at least saving up to buy a synthesizer. In his continuing series on his favorite albums from every year, ANDREW WOMACK goes pre-MTV. (Albums of the Year | February 22, 2007)

The Vice Squad

Just in time for President’s Day, a fun activity the entire family can enjoy: Who was the worst vice-president ever? CLAY RISEN reviews history’s candidates who could reach for Cheney’s crown. (Op-Ed | February 16, 2007)

The Top 10 Albums of 1979

Times were good: Every album came with a poster, disco was dying, and actors weren’t Presidents. Continuing his lists of the best albums from years past, ANDREW WOMACK revisits 1979. (Albums of the Year | February 8, 2007)

Everyone’s Wild About Tami

After months of near-silence, bird flu is back on the West’s front pages. But where is government preparedness, asks BRUCE MURPHY, now that the drug of choice in the virus war turns out to have spawned resistant strains? (Fight or Flight | February 7, 2007)

The Top 10 Albums of 1978

Year-end album lists shouldn’t happen only once a year. Inaugurating a new series, ANDREW WOMACK raids his music collection to rank his favorite albums from every year, year after year, starting with as far back as he can recollect. (Albums of the Year | January 23, 2007)

Spinning From the Grave

Ever since Gerald Ford’s death last week, politicians and pundits have rewritten much of his life into a series of victories. Now that he’s in the ground, it’s safe to finish the job. By BOB WOODIWISS. (Op-Ed | January 4, 2007)

The Top 10 Albums of 2006

The “record” industry is dead and 99-cent singles are now the rule, and yet terrific, cohesive rock LPs keep appearing every week. TMN founding editor ANDREW WOMACK picks his best albums of the year. (Reviews | December 20, 2006)

Our Favorite Gifts

The most meaningful gifts are so personal they cannot simply be plucked from the shelves of a store—but sometimes we need a little help. Turning holiday inspiration into shopping salvation, THE WRITERS recall their fondest gift memories. (Guides | December 15, 2006)

The Confession of an American Jew

Everybody wants to know, but nobody wants to ask: Why are Jews funny? In search of an answer, WAYNE GLADSTONE travels far from the roads of good intentions. (Op-Ed | December 13, 2006)

The 2006 Good Gift Games

Around the holidays there are always two to four players within earshot. Every year dozens of board games are marketed into existence, but some are so fun they stand alone. MATTHEW BALDWIN unloads his top picks for 2006. (Guides | December 6, 2006)

Biloxi Blues

Katrina’s destruction of the Mississippi coast left many residents homeless, unemployed, and vowing recovery. One year later, CLAY RISEN revisits the coast, but finds little sign of progress. (Op-Ed | November 30, 2006)

Consuming Obama

Barack Obama is riding a wave of enthusiasm, and though we sense his sincerity, there’s little else we know about him. PITCHAYA SUDBANTHAD considers the man everyone seems to think should be our next president. (Op-Ed | November 28, 2006)

Mock the Vote

A month after we asked our readers to create and photograph political campaign signs of their own making, here are our favorites. MATTHEW BALDWIN announces the winners of our Encyclopedia Brown for District Attorney contest. (Politics | November 7, 2006)

Violence in the Zócalo

Following the death of an American journalist, the rest of the world is taking notice of the declining situation in Oaxaca. PASHA MALLA interviews his sister Anna, who watched the peace unravel first-hand this summer. (Politics | November 2, 2006)

iPod Etiquette

We have something important to discuss. Are you listening? Oh, seriously, will you take out your earphones? Yes, both of them. MARGARET MASON has some advice on iPod etiquette. (The Thoughtful User Guide | October 27, 2006)

Closed Heart Surgery

Going under the knife is an arduous, lonely experience, and anyone who will share your pain is welcome. But Donald Rumsfeld? Writer JOHN BLADES finds an unlikely medical companion in the Defense secretary. (Op-Ed | October 24, 2006)

Betting Wrong

Session after session, congressional battles have us rooting for one side or the other. But it’s not easy to tell who the good (and bad) guys are. MATTHEW BALDWIN offers a theory by way of He-Man and the Masters of the United States Congress. (Op-Ed | October 2, 2006)

Longing for the Sad Bastards

When did our angst-driven movie men get all tangled up in their apron strings? F. RUSSELL brings us a screen history of damaged males. (Op-Ed | September 28, 2006)

Night Noise

The West Nile virus attacked Boise this summer, and now planes spray the city with a supposedly harmless pesticide. But when facts are muddy and even the anchormen don’t know what’s safe, ANTHONY DOERR asks, is it wise to let your sons play outside? (Letters From Idaho | August 25, 2006)

Culture Shake

Americans find certain things familiar on these shores to be challenged overseas: love for peanut butter, Republican politics, and particularly the good old American handshake. Brian Kimberling reports from abroad on the challenge of kissing Margaret Thatcher. (Opinions | June 8, 2005)

Frequently Asked Questions About the Toyota Prius

Tired of that gas-guzzler you’ve got parked in the driveway? Perhaps it’s time you drank the antifreeze and experienced the future of the universe, and your reality too. JOHN WARNER doesn’t trust anyone who can drive over 30. (Opinions | June 2, 2005)

Mr. Ugli Fruit or: How I Stopped Being Nice and Learned to Hate Fairway

The Grocery Wars have made Manhattan a battlefield strewn with fallen asparagus, and no turf is more contested than the Upper West Side where battered heavyweight Fairway fends off competitors. Food writer David Leite explains how far he’s willing to go for decent cardoons. (Opinions | May 25, 2005)

2005 Editors’ Awards for Online Excellence

Web Geeks Unite! was our original slogan when we launched this site in 1999, and while the tagline has changed, the spirit is undiminished. Editors ANDREW WOMACK and ROSECRANS BALDWIN share their picks for this year’s Editors’ Awards. (Opinions | May 19, 2005)

Tempting but Ill-Advised Email Auto-Responses

Email can be a time-saving, productive tool; that is, except when your friends and family are the ones behind it. Jessica Francis Kane finds new ways to let technology filter out the noise of life. (Opinions | May 17, 2005)

The Tour, Chapter 3

A national book tour means many cars, planes, handlers and book-signings. It also means a table of elderly Southern women with specific questions about fertility clinics. TMN Contributing Writer KEVIN GUILFOILE wraps up his journal of cross-country promotions. (Opinions | April 28, 2005)

The Tour, Chapter Two

If you make an ass of yourself on the Dennis Miller show, will anyone notice? If you don’t acknowledge that Beyoncé is Beyoncé, will she care? KEVIN GUILFOILE continues his saga of touring the country for the sake of literature. (Opinions | April 21, 2005)

The Tour, Chapter One

Ever imagine reading to a cheering stadium of millions? How about a single, disinterested Barnes & Noble customer? It’s one thing to write a book; it’s another to publicize it. Contributing writer KEVIN GUILFOILE reports from the field of his recent book tour. (Opinions | April 14, 2005)

MiniDisco

Portable audio used to be strictly for joggers and the kids who smoked under the bleachers, but these days everybody and their guidance counselor has an iPod. So how did headphones become fashionable, and MiniDisc devotees get left by the wayside? EMMA STRATTON remembers her scrolling LCD display. (Opinions | April 6, 2005)

Of Recent Note: For Spring 2005

THE WRITERS spring on you the stuff they’re into right now—including what they’re reading, hearing, watching, finding, eating, using, installing, applying, and, yes, even scratching this season. (Opinions | March 22, 2005)

Juiced

Can Congress get baseball to go cold turkey off steroids? And how many passionate pleas will it take? Rep. Tobias Seamon speaks, passionately and otherwise, rooting out those who seek enhancements of every kind. (Opinions | March 21, 2005)

The First Annual TMN Tournament of Books: Final Round!

Humiliating upsets, stunning defeats, the ever-surprising longevity of Tom Wolfe—it has all come down to this: the last match of The First Annual TMN Tournament of Books, sponsored by Powells.com. (Opinions | February 28, 2005)

I’m Not Gay, but My Boyfriend Sure Is

It’s hard to be an average American male when all the guys around you are extremely hot. Joshua Sonnier reports from inside the chambers of the Men in Love with Gay Men support group. (Opinions | February 25, 2005)

Questions Frequently Asked About TiVo, Answered by Someone Who Loves TiVo Too Much

What’s that? You still don’t have a TiVo? Ahh, you must have some questions about the technology before you take the plunge. Lucky for you, JOHN WARNER is here with a stack of answers and a filled baptismal pool. (Opinions | February 9, 2005)

Announcing The First Annual TMN Tournament of Books

Place your bets! Thumb your books! It’s time for literature to quit its prissy posturing and get pummeled! Introducing The First Annual TMN Tournament of Books, sponsored by Powells.com. (Opinions | February 7, 2005)

Valentine’s Gift Guide

The heart-shaped box of chocolates was sweet and the bouquet of roses was lovely, but your Valentine deserves a surprise this year. This Valentine’s Day, let Margaret Mason do your shopping for you. (Opinions | February 1, 2005)

New Ways to Lose Your Lunch

Everybody barfs. But it’s an altogether different product depending on if you’re an infant or the last one standing at tequila happy hour. Armchair linguist Jenell Williams Paris ponders our culture’s lack of adequate description for reverse-digestion. (Opinions | January 31, 2005)

The First Annual TMN Tournament of Books

Too often are literary awards arbitrary, dull, or meaningless. Too rarely are they determined by an NCAA-style Battle Royale of bloodthirsty competition. It’s time for a change. ROSECRANS BALDWIN and KEVIN GUILFOILE announce The First Annual TMN Tournament of Books—complete with downloadable brackets poster!—sponsored by Powells.com. (Opinions | January 20, 2005)

2004 Holiday Survival Guide for Slackers

Every year you show up with a stack of giftcards from Rite-Aid. And every year your family roasts your chestnuts for waiting until the last minute to do your shopping. This year will be different. Matthew Baldwin has gift ideas for the lazy. (Opinions | December 22, 2004)

The Top 10 Albums of 2004

There were thousands of albums released by thousands of artists in 2004, so it must be hard to determine which were the 10 greatest, right? No, not really. ANDREW WOMACK has his picks for the best of this year in music. (Opinions | December 20, 2004)

Twenty Gifts That Go Easy on Your Budget

You’re a generous sort, but you don’t have much time (or cash). Mighty Goods shopping expert Margaret Mason has 20 clever gift ideas that won’t leave you paying off your credit cards through July. (Opinions | December 16, 2004)

40 Watts Later

Men buy cars, boats, and watches to make up for their shortcomings; some even purchase stoves. Food writer David Leite looks back on the path that led him to 15,000 BTUs, and consults the Queer Eye staff for advice: what kind of boy goes nuts over an Easy-Bake Oven? (Opinions | December 9, 2004)

The 2004 Good Gift Games Guide

The last time you played a board game you got the Adam’s apple caught in the funny-bone slot and then you couldn’t pass GO or collect $200. These days, however, board games are a lot more enticing and fun, and Matthew Baldwin is here with the best of this year’s crop. (Opinions | December 7, 2004)

A Dallas, Texas, of the Mind

A new computer game lets players compete to reenact the assassination of President Kennedy—from the vantage point of Lee Harvey Oswald. Taking a break from the controversy over its release, KEN WOMACK sees the new future of gaming, then gets ready to take aim again. (Opinions | December 1, 2004)

What Would Teddy Do?

Last week Maine citizens voted on Question 2—whether or not to outlaw the “baiting, hounding, and trapping“ of bears. So why didn’t such an apparently humane measure pass? Bruce Murphy weighs in from all sides of the bill. (Opinions | November 11, 2004)

Letters from Egypt: Ramadan and Firecrackers

What happens when a normally mad city decides to stop eating during daylight hours, stop smoking and drinking and sexing while it’s light out? Amira Pierce reports from Cairo, describing her vibrant city alternately united and crazed by hunger. (Opinions | November 4, 2004)

Beyond Therapy

Which story is front-page material: Kerry’s tan, or his position on loose nukes? Bush’s plans for immigration reform, or a bulge in his jacket? By fluffing rumors and stuffing their shirts, the political media this election season has constantly failed the public. One day before the vote, Washington’s Clay Risen explains how we’ve been duped. (Opinions | November 1, 2004)

A Modest British American

When America is so despised around the world, it is too bad we’ve lost one of our best ambassadors. Louis Cooke (no relation) attends a memorial service for Alistair Cooke in Westminster Abbey and sees the 20th century’s greatest radio broadcaster remembered among the famous and the great. (Opinions | October 25, 2004)

Of Recent Note: For Fall 2004

Books, movies, shows, albums, artists, clothing, writing instruments, online “services,” ways to cook, things to eat, and more things to digest. What’s that? It’s what THE WRITERS have been very into lately, and think you might be too. Here are their Fall recommendations. (Opinions | October 13, 2004)

The Intramural Sports of Kings

The signup sheet in the break room wants you and your co-workers to meet at the park on Saturday for a game of softball. For some it may just be fun, but for others it’ll be pure competition. Spectator Llewellyn Hinkes watches the games employees play. (Opinions | October 7, 2004)

Any Given Election

What’s a devout gambler supposed to do when the sports landscape looks so bleak? Why, turn to the current presidential race, naturally. Tobias Seamon gives a state-by-state rundown on your best bets. (Opinions | September 20, 2004)

Answers to Some of the Tough Questions Posed in the Song “Why” by Jadakiss

The popular and controversial hip-hop song asks a lot of questions, though it doesn’t get many answers. CODY WIEWANDT sifts through the lyrics and finally tells us why Jadakiss is as hard as it gets. (Opinions | September 2, 2004)

Concerning My Neighbors, The Hicks

It’s easy for Yankees to see the South as a swamp, full of evangelist in-breds and Fox-fed yokels, when the media reinforces the stereotype. Nashville’s finest Clay Risen takes on poet Charles Simic for the sake of southern culture. (Opinions | August 11, 2004)

Roundtable: Mp3 Bloggers

There exists in the internet a galaxy of passionate music fans sharing their favorite songs, for free, with as many people as can find them. THE EDITORS talk to six of our favorite mp3 bloggers to find out what makes them tick, what problems they face, and what, exactly, the record companies should do next. (Opinions | August 10, 2004)

Confessions of a Hired Belly

Roaming Italy for a perfect risotto, or sampling the new Bordeaux while staying in four-star resorts—the life of a food and travel writer rarely evokes pity. But is that only because its hardships haven’t been explained? Correspondent David Leite details the difficulties of his nine-to-five. (Opinions | June 14, 2004)

Of Recent Note: For Summer 2004

Of interest lately are special books, catchy songs, lovely clothes, and a slew of other wonderful items we’ve collectively enjoyed the last few weeks, and now wish to pass along for your very own summer pleasure. THE WRITERS recall and review. (Opinions | June 10, 2004)

Following My First Mind

If pop music can change lives, then the process must begin someplace in the mind, and more likely in images than words. Tobias Seamon sends us a postcard from the backyard of his brain, where Sinead O’Connor shares time with the Talking Heads. (Opinions | June 1, 2004)

2004 Editors’ Awards for Online Excellence

The web is an awfully tangled place, but there are jewels in the strands. Presenting The Morning News 2004 Editors’ Awards for Online Excellence, where advanced technology, top-notch prose, and pictures of cats are equally admired. (Opinions | May 18, 2004)

Reading With the Enemy

Looking for a challenge and a little affirmation, OLIVER GRISWOLD tests his die-hard liberal beliefs and goes on an all-conservative-media diet for one month. Life on the Right side of the dial doesn’t turn out the way he expected. (Opinions | May 11, 2004)

Barking At The Gate

The White House Correspondents Association dinner is D.C.’s biggest night—politicos mix with editors mix with celebrities, all very realalcoholik. But, as Washington’s Clay Risen writes, it’s also among the lowest points of journalism. (Opinions | May 5, 2004)

Letters from Russia: Remembering Chernobyl

Eighteen years ago today, disaster struck Chernobyl and the world turned to the news—similarly as it has for North Korea’s recent train crash, with just as much misinformation. Kiev native Veronica Khokhlova recalls the days of secrecy and fear. (Opinions | April 26, 2004)

Unexplained Snacks of America

“Grits” only sound edible if you know what they are; and even then you could argue otherwise. Australian MATT RODEN guesses what’s in the boxes of our popular foods. (Opinions | March 23, 2004)

Roundtable: Children’s Music

We’ve seen their drawings of Radiohead songs, they tell us the Strokes make their heads hurt “like 100 dogs,” but how do we feel about their songs? LESLIE HARPOLD, SARAH HEPOLA, and CHOIRE SICHA listen to children’s music, weighing in on the state of the pint-sized. (Opinions | March 3, 2004)

Die Softly

Action movies may seem old hat these days, but they had to start somewhere. BENJAMIN R. COHEN takes us back to the pre-Schwarzenegger years, when a movie audience thirsty for speed and thrills could only turn to My Dinner with André. (Opinions | February 24, 2004)

A Reasonable Guide to Scum Rock

Let the strippers go unpaid, let the motel rooms burn—rock’s only as good as its most depraved leaders are terrible. Reporting from his headphones, Tobias Seamon has a catalog of true low-life hedonism. (Opinions | February 10, 2004)

Pizza Party U.S.A.

Every four years at the end of February, we’ve got that extra day. Is it special? Well maybe it should be. Julius Caesar may have invented Leap Day, but MATTHEW BALDWIN invented Pizza Party U.S.A, and he has a petition for you to sign. (Opinions | February 4, 2004)

This Year, It’s Gonna Be Different

Perhaps the only joy in making new year’s resolutions is the variety of ice cream flavors it takes to break them. Or maybe this year will be different, wonders Sarah Hepola, writer with resolve. (Opinions | January 15, 2004)

Is Illiteracy So Bad?

When people can’t explain global warming or mad cow disease, perhaps they should look at a less than obvious scourge: the dreaded literacy plague. Scott Douglas considers a less textual world. (Opinions | January 12, 2004)

2003 Holiday Survival Guide for Slackers

Last year you did all your shopping on the drive to grandmother’s house, but this year you’ve got a chance to make good. Matthew Baldwin reports with 2003’s last-minute gift ideas for the lazy. (Opinions | December 22, 2003)

The Top 10 Albums of 2003

The iPod got a lot of use this year. After hundreds of albums and thousands of hours of listening to music, ANDREW WOMACK narrows it all down to his top 10 albums of 2003. Here are his findings. (Opinions | December 15, 2003)

Where I’m Coming From

Southerners routinely get trashed up north, where they’re either derided as racists or hayseeds, or the offspring of siblings. Going home to Nashville for Thanksgiving, somewhat-southerner Clay Risen gets fed up with all the mouthin’ off. (Opinions | December 1, 2003)

Notes on a Federal Culture

Urban character is easy—Chicago has architecture, New York has culture, Los Angeles has a six-hour flight to New York—but what about cities with zero personality? Let’s say, Washington? D.C. writer Clay Risen comes up with a few traits for home. (Opinions | October 23, 2003)

Rock This County!

Mega-selling pop music may seem to be more about navel-sculpting than song-writing, but that won’t cut it for a stadium full of Shania Twain fans. SASHA FRERE-JONES finds out what it takes to sell 19 million records. (Opinions | October 15, 2003)

In The Rear With Broken Gear

We depend on our troops to protect our shores—shouldn’t our troops be able to depend on their weapons? Novelist and former soldier Christian Bauman weighs in on 11 deaths attributed to bad equipment. (Opinions | October 9, 2003)

Downtown Dealing

In recent years public architecture has a bad record in New York, especially after the uglification of modernism. Why then are people not paying more attention to Ground Zero? Clay Risen has a few ideas about the political process of development. (Opinions | September 24, 2003)

Dear Hollywood

Hollywood. Is it worth the trouble? In a last-ditch effort to find something worth fighting for, KEN WOMACK writes a letter to the big ‘H’ to ask why it’s been acting the way it has. (Opinions | September 18, 2003)

Crowning the Action

Mel Gibson’s forthcoming movie, The Passion, has come under a great deal of fire, especially for something that nobody’s even seen yet. Tobias Seamon addresses the controversy and questions where Gibson’s responsibilities lie. (Opinions | August 27, 2003)

Freddy and Jason and Reese and Julia

Ahh, movie sequels: the perpetual bliss of knowing what happens next. But what if Hollywood runs out of old films for remakes, prequels, and crossovers? Philip Graham has a plan that will save the movie industry. (Opinions | August 20, 2003)

The Pop-Off King

Though dancers occasionally kick one another, writers are alone among artists in using their craft to attack each other. KEVIN GUILFOILE reports on Stephen King’s new decision to join the vipers. (Opinions | August 13, 2003)

Another Roadside Attraction

The Washington Post’s new free newspaper Express is targeted to illiterate youngsters with wallets. CLAY RISEN reports on the difficulties of selling young and hip. (Opinions | August 8, 2003)

The Key to a Successful Freelance Career: A Diary

As more people work at home and telecommute, you can bet that the The View is expanding its influence. SARAH HEPOLA reports on the freelance life. (Opinions | July 23, 2003)

Copyrights and Wrongs

Despite its grumblings (and litigation) to the contrary, the entertainment industry benefits from copyright expiration: Take, for instance, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Matthew Baldwin reports. (Opinions | July 11, 2003)

Waiting for Aiken

Since 1989, anyone named after some variation of Urkel has lived a miserable existence. Clay Patrick Risen considers his future, in the shadow of American Idol. (Opinions | July 9, 2003)

Forever and a Day: Songs for Summertime

After a weekend of heavy research, summer expert TOBIAS SEAMON gives us his survey of music for surviving the heat, and your drunk friends. (Opinions | July 7, 2003)

The Facts of Life

Fact-checking: It’s not an easy job, and it’s not without its faults. Which is why it wasn’t any feat of genius for Stephen Glass or Jayson Blair to crack the system. Clay Risen reports from the head offices. (Opinions | June 17, 2003)

Branded for Life

Teenagers: They’ve got cell phones, credit cards, and brand identities. JOHN WARNER reviews Alissa Quart’s Branded: The Buying and Selling of Teenagers to find a shared past not too dissimilar, and a terrifying prospect that may lie ahead of us all. (Opinions | June 11, 2003)

I Live in a Motel

Travelers know what to expect from a motel: not much, besides pornography. When writer Joshua Allen is forced to live in one for a month, he finds a bit more to appreciate. (Opinions | June 2, 2003)

Unloading on The Matrix Reloaded

The first Matrix was cool, but this new one needed a bit more work before they let it out of the gate. Upset moviegoer Philip Graham writes an open letter to the Wachowski brothers. (Opinions | May 20, 2003)

Mess with the Bull, You’ll Get the Horns

The recent hazing at Glenbrook North High School and that other story about disregard for journalistic propriety can find judgment in the college classroom. Glenbrook North alum and college instructor JOHN WARNER teaches some difficult lessons. (Opinions | May 15, 2003)

Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary

Psychoanalysis in literature is old hat, but there were days when it was new. Clay Risen returns to Mary McCarthy to see which neuroses still ring true. (Opinions | May 5, 2003)

The Secret Gardener

Your parents’ hobbies seem odd and quaint until you discover you can’t sleep late on the weekends anymore. Clay Risen finds early middle age in the flower boxes of his backyard. (Opinions | April 10, 2003)

Men’s Fashion: Spring

Hail spring! May flowers are just around the corner, bringing new occasions to look dashing. THE EDITORS dole out their advice, on lightweight suits (nice), scuba gear (when underwater), and seersucker (not yet). (Opinions | April 9, 2003)

A Brief Catechism of Rock Shows, Part I

When it comes to rock shows, there are many guidelines to be followed, and some fans do so with a religious fervor. Hear the word of the rock gods, know the truth, and know that LESLIE HARPOLD spake it. Here is Lesson First: The End of Cool. (Opinions | March 28, 2003)

Women’s Fashion: Part V, Releasing Your Inner Slut

If you look like you just got some, it’s sexy. If you’re dressed like you’re out to get some, it’s slutty. In the fifth part of our women’s fashion series, MARGARET MASON encourages you to ignore the distinction. (Opinions | March 20, 2003)

Springtime for Washington

Daisies and rifles are never easy bedfellows, especially when both are just starting to bloom. D.C. resident Clay Risen reports on the effects of going to war just when the weather’s turning nice. (Opinions | March 18, 2003)

Lost in Translation

The Chinatown bus network: offerring inexpensive transport between the major Chinatowns of the eastern U.S. The New York Times coos over the novelty. Clay Risen actually takes a ride on the bus and has a decidedly different take. (Opinions | March 10, 2003)

The Mormons: Our Secret Weapon in the War on Terror

Is war the only option? Surely, there’s something else we can do? Something, perhaps, involving ghosts and baptism? Philip Graham has a proposition you might not slam your door on. (Opinions | February 27, 2003)

What Lies Beneath

New York and Washington have their differences, but the greatest disparity (at least to someone who just moved from Manhattan) is in their subway systems. Clay Risen reports from beneath two cities. (Opinions | February 25, 2003)

Love in the Time of Smallpox

Terror warnings be damned! This Valentine’s Day you can hug with your honey without fear of attack – with these handy tips. Dennis Mahoney keeps the romance alive. (Opinions | February 14, 2003)

Obsessions: Dinner Is Served!

Continuing our obsessions series, MAGDALEN POWERS reveals her never-quenched need for aged, obscure cookery manuals, preferably the kind with recipes for Tunnel of Fudge. (Opinions | January 30, 2003)

Among the ‘Unsavvy’

Being published in the New Yorker has long been a fantasy for many writers, and the magazine’s recent change in the fiction chair appeared to offer more hope for the underpublished. Appearances, however, can be deceitful; JOHN WARNER cracks the masque. (Opinions | January 29, 2003)

Super Bowl Ads: A Postmortem

It’s been popular for years to say Super Bowl ads are more entertaining than the game, and the ad industry started the rumor. Unfortunately, Dennis Mahoney points out that the ad industry is prone to lying. (Opinions | January 27, 2003)

Women’s Fashion: Part IV, Accessories

Forget about your butt; consider your jewelry. (You can change it a hell of a lot faster.) MARGARET MASON adds part four to our Women’s Fashion series with a look at the history of accessories. (Opinions | January 14, 2003)

The Nine Coolest Albums of 2002

Want to be cool but don’t have the time? Leave it to Brad Barrish to clue you in. But remember, in the world of indie-rock, what you actually listen to isn’t as important as what you claim to. (Opinions | December 18, 2002)

Holiday Survival Guide for Slackers

Don’t know what to get your (sorta) loved ones for the holidays? Well, there’s always powdered urine. Matthew Baldwin reports with last-minute ideas for the lazy. (Opinions | December 13, 2002)

Women’s Fashion: Part III, Hats

In the third installment of our Women’s Fashion series, MARGARET MASON wonders why hats ever fell out of favor. After all, if you choose your headgear well, no one will notice what else you’re wearing. (Opinions | December 10, 2002)

Holiday Gift Guide

Thanksgiving’s over, Chanukah’s in full swing, and Christmas is right around the corner. THE EDITORS throw in their recommendations for what to get that special someone, i.e., yourself. (Opinions | December 2, 2002)

Rivalry Day

Harvard-ers and Yalies may not mix well, but ask a Buckeye what he thinks of someone from Michigan, and he’ll start building the effigy. TOBIAS SEAMON spends a long day on the couch watching the seismic clashes of college football. (Opinions | November 25, 2002)

Women’s Fashion: Part II, Color

MARGARET MASON returns with our second installation in the Women’s Fashion Series. This week, black is slimming, but orange is fun. To hell with neutrals, we want to see more cha-cha in your wardrobe. (Opinions | November 14, 2002)

Ads Are Stupid

A purple thing with eyes will make you buy cheeseburgers. Shaking rumps will make you buy beer. Bears are supposed to do something too. Dennis Mahoney reviews the material and concludes that ads are stupid. (Opinions | November 5, 2002)

Women’s Fashion: Part I, Classics

Forget about trends for a moment and focus on good taste. MARGARET MASON kicks off our series with what you need: the a-line skirt, the peacoat, the little black dress. (Opinions | October 28, 2002)

Branding

No longer content with acronyms or surnames, companies now hire brand consultants to name their children. Clay Risen goes through the best and the worst of new-age monikers, including those easily pronounced as ass-enter. (Opinions | October 22, 2002)

Don’t Be Rude: Part IV, Weddings

Continuing with her series on etiquette, Margaret Berry explains why you can’t ask your wedding guests to pay for your mortgage, or their own drinks. (Opinions | September 30, 2002)

Saturday Night Fever

Saturday Night Live has never been a gender-balanced show, just as it’s never been consistently funny. These days, things are starting to change. Claire Zulkey on the hilarious women of Studio 8H. (Opinions | September 5, 2002)

Don’t Be Rude: Part III, Socializing

Why is that woman next to you gasping? Oh, dear. You seem to be stepping on her toes. You didn’t even notice, did you? Well, do move a bit to the right, and let Margaret Berry explain how you got there. (Opinions | September 4, 2002)

This Is The [Best]…Article…of the Summer!

Ever been suspect of the reviews that accompany movie ad posters? You probably have good reason. Here’s a look at the true origins of those reviews. MATTHEW BALDWIN dims the lights and puts on the next reel. (Opinions | August 28, 2002)

The Illustrierter Bacillus

While looking through his parents’ attic Clay Risen finds the May 14, 1942, issue of the Nazi party propaganda paper Illustrierter Beobachter. Nobody has any idea how it got there. A look between the pages. (Opinions | August 26, 2002)

Don’t Be Rude: Part II, Relationships

Continuing her series, Margaret Berry returns with advice on relationships: how to call, coo, cuddle, and compete, all by adhering to a decent code of conduct. (Opinions | August 12, 2002)

I Know You’re Lonely For Words That I Ain’t Spoken

Most people know that Bruce Springsteen has a new album out. But everyone knows that a man, shouting at Springsteen, partly inspired the new songs. KEVIN GUILFOILE on a small story ruined by exposure. (Opinions | August 5, 2002)

Don’t Be Rude: Part I, Kindness

You may think that etiquette doesn’t matter, that grapefruit spoons are for sissies and no one should hold the door anymore. Think again, jerk. Margaret Berry weighs in with her first of a four-part series on being polite. (Opinions | July 30, 2002)

Accounting for Taste: Exo, Say Hello to the Master Siege Control

Four TMN writers get their paws on something and give their reviews. This time it’s an album from Chicago band Exo, selected by Kevin Guilfoile. (Opinions | July 16, 2002)

Kevin Fanning’s Home Security Basics

Dangerous times call for drastic measures. From mental combat to homemade weaponry, Kevin Fanning knows a few good tricks to keep the bad guys away. (Opinions | June 27, 2002)

Nothing’s Shocking

Once upon a time, music idols were evil enough for your parents to hate them. So what do we have left, now that our demons are as safe as pie? Dennis Mahoney gives us the (hopefully) grim details. (Opinions | June 20, 2002)

Man and the Lad Mag

Today’s man has some very real problems, and the magazines he’s reading may be a big reason why. JOHN WARNER studies the marketing designed to engender the fall of modern man. (Opinions | June 6, 2002)

What Are You, Drunk?

A new study on binge drinking from the Harvard School of Public Health slides off the stool, falls down, and admits that it really didn’t know what it was talking about earlier, with all that ‘research’ business. KEVIN GUILFOILE drives it home and gives it a good talking-to. (Opinions | May 29, 2002)

Rules of the New Restroom

We’ve all seen the ‘Employees Must Wash Hands’ and ‘No Smoking’ signs in bathrooms. But what about other common sense rules? How are we to know what’s permissable, and what’s just plain wrong? THE EDITORS offer some suggestions. (Opinions | May 23, 2002)

The Secret Machines, September 000

The Secret Machines’ new EP, September 000, is magnificent: an inspiring work from what could be the best live band New York has seen in years. ANDREW WOMACK reviews. (Opinions | May 22, 2002)

The Case for Cocktails

Fifty years ago, men ordered Manhattans, women drank Mai Tais, and no one brought guns to school. The logic is irrefutable; MARGARET MASON urges you to drink well. (Opinions | May 21, 2002)

Zan: Summertime Superhero

You don’t have a house in the Hamptons, you don’t have a pool; hell, you don’t even have central air conditioning. Face it: the only thing that will save you this summer is a miracle, or a superhero. Dennis Mahoney explains. (Opinions | May 10, 2002)

The Early Lines

The Early Lines are a good band. But they could be a great band. Yancey Strickler thinks they just might be on the right track with their new album, Hate the Living Love the Dead, and offers them advice on how to get over the hump. (Opinions | May 8, 2002)

Men’s Fashion: Part 4, Conclusion

THE EDITORS conclude the Men’s Fashion series with a few tips of advice to how to wear a tie, hold an umbrella, and arrange your wallet to win when your lover goes a-spyin’. (Opinions | May 6, 2002)

Men’s Fashion: Part 3, Pants

They decorate your legs. They accentuate your form. They define your character. And the correct choice between wearing them or not can keep you out of jail. THE EDITORS present part three of their men’s fashion advice: pants. (Opinions | April 29, 2002)

Men’s Fashion: Part 2, Dress Shirts

Our second installment of men’s fashion advice, and our favorite topic: dress shirts. They can match any outfit, be worn in planes and malls alike, dress Miles Davis and Bill Gates in the same colors, and still say different things. THE EDITORS explain how. (Opinions | April 22, 2002)

Catch A Falling Catholic

Will the recent rash of pedophilia charges against the Catholic Church cause a drop in membership? If so, might those disenchanted Catholics be interested in joining the competition? KEVIN GUILFOILE has a few marketing concepts for those faiths looking to sign up some new recruits. (Opinions | April 17, 2002)

Men’s Fashion: Part 1, Suits

It’s the one thing every man should own: a suit. THE EDITORS salute the suit’s ability to withstand expiration, bask in its enduring appeal, and offer advice on what to look for when you’re off to buy your own. If only we could be there to say, “Suits you, sir!” (Opinions | April 15, 2002)

Personal Hygiene on a Shoestring Budget

It’s a cold, menacing world out there, and it doesn’t care whether or not you’ve brushed your teeth this morning. But you care and you’re broke. So what’s going to come between you and your hygiene needs? The law? MICHAEL BARRISH spits—but so minty, so fresh—in the face of conformity. (Opinions | April 4, 2002)

The First Rule of Book Club

Chicago versus New York: sure, we know whose pizza is better, but what about their city-wide book reading programs? KEVIN GUILFOILE sits us down and gives us a stern lecture about our relative civic hopes, fears, and lazy habits. (Opinions | April 2, 2002)

…And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead, Source Tags & Codes

…And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead have released their major-label debut, singularly their finest record to date and the most blistering, blissful album to be released by anyone in years. ANDREW WOMACK reviews. (Opinions | February 27, 2002)

Storage Facility

Back in 1999, Jaron Lanier, a leading figure in the history of Virtual Reality (he coined the term), proposed a revolutionary vehicle for archival storage: cockroaches. MICHAEL BARRISH explains the madness. (Opinions | January 14, 2002)

Happy Birthday, Embryo

For good or ill, the first genetic engineering of a human embryo is one more mental adjustment in a year of Herculean mental adjustments. And 2001 started off so boring. Dennis Mahoney dons the lab coat and explains. (Opinions | November 26, 2001)

A Fig for Thee, O Terror

The reason Mayor Giuliani sounded more effective than GW Bush was a simple matter of doing vs. planning. You trust a man who’s talking about lifting that brick right now and don’t ask about tomorrow yet. When work needs to be done, there isn’t time for fretting and conjecture. Dennis Mahoney gets down to brass tacks. (Opinions | November 10, 2001)

Investigating Tragedy

In the wake of the September 11 attacks and the responses they have instigated, we tried to read and learn as much as possible about the events that occurred and what they caused: herein are links to the information we found helpful. From The Editors. (Opinions | September 24, 2001)

Chris Lee, Plays & Sings Torch’d Songs, Charivari Hymns & Oriki Blue-Marche

The production has an overt sense of confidence: some tracks are multi-layered, with relaxed horns, vocal harmonies, extra keyboards or guitar; others are strong and simple, just bass, guitar and Lee’s voice. And God, that voice: often compared to Jeff Buckley, Al Green or Nick Drake, Lee’s singing is masterfully sincere, at once longing and grateful, wistful and pained. ROSECRANS BALDWIN reviews. (Opinions | September 19, 2001)

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