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Sarah Hepola

TMN Contributing Writer Sarah Hepola is the deputy Life editor at Salon. Her work has appeared in The New York Times, Slate, Nerve, and on NPR. She lives in Brooklyn with a sweet orange cat who is not fat, he’s just big-boned.

Boats We Missed

From acclaimed television series to all-over-your-radar bands to the web site even your grandmother knows about, here are the phenomena that the TMN READERS AND WRITERS, until recently, missed out on. (Of Recent Note | October 1, 2008)

The Secret Journal of Levi Johnston

In just a few short weeks, vice-presidential hopeful Sarah Palin’s future son-in-law has traveled from the hockey rink to the political arena. What happened in between? SARAH HEPOLA writes. (Spoofs & Satire | September 10, 2008)

It’ll End in Tears

Everyone has a talent, something they do better than most anyone else. For some, that may be solving complex problems. For others, it may be performing an athletic feat. For SARAH HEPOLA, it’s crying. (Personal Essays | September 3, 2008)

Vacation Destinations

With Memorial Day just around the corner, our thoughts are turning to getting the heck out of town. Where to? Well, the TMN READERS AND WRITERS have some recommendations. (Of Recent Note | May 22, 2008)

Exercise Gear

How many fitness-inspired New Year’s resolutions does it take to beat down the average individual? How many recommended items of exercise paraphernalia from THE WRITERS does it take to rebuild one’s spirit? The answer is: never enough. (Of Recent Note | January 24, 2008)

Hangover Cures

Robert Benchley once quipped, “The only cure for a real hangover is death.” Though ultimately true, right now there are holiday parties to attend. THE WRITERS offer solutions for the morning after. (Of Recent Note | December 13, 2007)

The Backseat Killer

A maniac is chasing an innocent woman. She gets home and runs to her house, just as the pursuing car screeches in to the driveway. How will it end? Only THE WRITERS know, in our annual open-ended gore fest. (Spoofs & Satire | October 31, 2007)

Nonfiction Books

You’ve stocked up on bookmarks, ordered the bookplates, and now you’re ready to fill the shelves. Next time you’re shopping, pass over the fiction and pick up something with an index. THE WRITERS offer a selection. (Of Recent Note | October 23, 2007)

What It Means to Miss New Orleans

The accuracy of Fox’s new police drama K-Ville can only be known by the cops working in post-Katrina New Orleans. SARAH HEPOLA interviews Police Lieutenant Bryant Wininger, who explains where the real drama still is, free of storylines and plot twists. (Profiles | October 4, 2007)

Age of Consent

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week, SARAH HEPOLA instructs a starry-eyed reader in the ways of bagging young Hollywood tail. (The Non-Expert | August 24, 2007)

SXSW 2007: The Very First Review

The South by Southwest Music Festival is a never-ending stream of bands, booze, and laminates that barrels through Austin, Texas, each spring. SARAH HEPOLA isn’t going this year, but that won’t stop her from reviewing it. (Spoofs & Satire | March 15, 2007)

Run for the Hills

The world MTV depicts is anything but real. But we don’t watch to escape, writes SARAH HEPOLA, we watch because we can’t look away. (Personal Essays | February 1, 2007)

The Day After the Morning After

Our story thus far: editor Drew Barrymore, who has been in an on-again, off-again relationship with reporter Vince Vaughn, is friends with copy editor Keira Knightley (who is smitten with sportswriter Matthew McConaughey)—that is, until a night of tequila shots. SARAH HEPOLA writes. (Celebrity Magazine | January 11, 2007)

This Is Not a Eulogy

This is an appreciation. Our friend, writer, editor, and teacher LESLIE HARPOLD recently died. A memorial for a woman who was difficult to describe—and who couldn’t stand sentimental bullshit. (Profiles | December 18, 2006)

The Lost Weeknight

Dismayed at the idea of collaborating with Vince, Drew needs cheering up. McConaughey orders the shots. A new episode in our fanfic series by SARAH HEPOLA. (Celebrity Magazine | December 8, 2006)

Potluck Supper

The best Thanksgivings are the ones where all the guests bring their own specialties to the table. Eight CONTRIBUTING WRITERS serve up their best, potluck-style. With illustrations by ANNA FEATHERLY. (Personal Essays | November 22, 2006)

Stakeout

Vince and Drew’s romance fizzles when he begins stalking her neighbor. And back at CM HQ it’s reflecting poorly on his work, while everybody else is busy filming segments for their new web site. A new series by SARAH HEPOLA. (Celebrity Magazine | November 13, 2006)

Bring Me the Head of Mickey Rooney

Staff changes are announced at the world’s most famous magazine, and Drew is handed the axe and told to swing it. The second installment in a new series by SARAH HEPOLA. (Celebrity Magazine | October 26, 2006)

Welcome to Celebrity Magazine

In a world where everyone is famous, who’s going to do the reporting? Working at a glossy is never easy—especially not with this cast. The first installment in a new series by SARAH HEPOLA. (Celebrity Magazine | October 13, 2006)

One Day in New York City

June 1 dawned humid and hot. The forecast: A high of 84 degrees and possible late-day thunderstorms west of town. But forecasts—for the temperature or for a busy day of work and play—aren’t all they’re cracked up to be. A day in the life of THE WRITERS. (New York, New York | June 14, 2006)

A Word of Advice

‘Tis the season of graduation ceremonies, when many will be told it’s the first day of the rest of their lives. THE WRITERS disagree, and offer the ultimate commencement speech. (Spoofs & Satire | May 4, 2006)

My SXSW Diary

South by Southwest is really about the music, so forget about all the parties and cab rides and breakfast tacos. That’s exactly what SARAH HEPOLA told us when she handed in her expense report. Here’s what (she said) happened between the bars. (Personal Essays | March 24, 2006)

Brushes With the Law

Who knew what evil once lurked in the hearts of THE WRITERS? Arsonists, accomplices, troublemakers all, here are nine lives of crime, cut short. (Personal Essays | March 22, 2006)

Big in Finland

Conan O’Brien’s recent comedy bits about Finland earned him that country’s adulation; his trip there for a one-hour special—airing tonight—sealed the deal. What the unlikely matchup means for SARAH HEPOLA, and what it says about family. (Profiles | March 10, 2006)

For February 2006

What THE WRITERS have been enjoying, watching, reading, hearing, eating, viewing, and digesting for the past 28 days. (Of Recent Note | February 28, 2006)

If I Can Make It There

You’ve got clean streets, reasonable rent, and plenty of elbow room. So why, oh why, are you moving to New York, SARAH HEPOLA? Eight million stories, plus one. (New York, New York | December 12, 2005)

Holiday Travel Hell

It’s a toss-up for what’s worse about Thanksgiving: visiting the family homestead, or simply getting there. Travel stories by THE WRITERS, collected by intern Nicole Pasulka. (Personal Essays | November 22, 2005)

Is He Cute or Is He British?

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week SARAH HEPOLA helps a forlorn reader determine if her new guy actually looks as good as he talks. (The Non-Expert | November 18, 2005)

Semester’s End

It’s Elisabeth Eckleman’s first year of college, and she has a lot of tough choices to make. In this installment, Elisabeth is hit with some unexpected news, and she’s faced with her most important decision yet. (The Education of Elisabeth Eckleman | October 24, 2005)

Give Me a (Thanksgiving) Break

It’s Elisabeth Eckleman’s first year of college, and she has a lot of tough choices to make. In this installment, Elisabeth travels home for a visit and returns to a roommate whose behavior is becoming more and more difficult to live with. You decide what happens next. (The Education of Elisabeth Eckleman | September 26, 2005)

Reality Check

When a critic slams Bravo’s new take on Battle of the Network Stars, our writer remembers what made the first one worth a do-over. As it turns out, while the show could be remade, it could hardly be revived. (Op-Ed | September 6, 2005)

Our Faded Summers

It may be something in the sunscreen, but funny things happen during summer—dehydration, Lyme disease, brief romantic flings. Collected writings of love lost and won (but mostly lost), presented by TMN Summer Intern HEATHER RASLEY. (Personal Essays | August 17, 2005)

Haunted Halloween

It’s Elisabeth Eckleman’s first year of college, and she has a lot of tough choices to make. In this installment, Elisabeth takes her T.A., Raj, to a costume party, where he refuses to dance. You decide what happens next. (The Education of Elisabeth Eckleman | July 18, 2005)

Lies, All Lies

It’s Elisabeth Eckleman’s first year of college, and she has a lot of tough choices to make. In this installment, Elisabeth keeps a secret while trying to survive a weekend of everyone else’s parents. You decide what happens next. (The Education of Elisabeth Eckleman | June 28, 2005)

The Education of Elisabeth Eckleman: Back to School

It’s Elisabeth Eckleman’s first year of college, and she has a lot of tough choices to make. Sarah Hepola follows Elisabeth’s life and lets you decide what happens next. In this installment, Elisabeth heads back to school with fresh eyes and provides a shoulder for Kat—a friend in need, indeed. (Stories | June 6, 2005)

The Education of Elisabeth Eckleman: Home, Alone

It’s Elisabeth Eckleman’s first year of college, and she has a lot of tough choices to make. Sarah Hepola follows Elisabeth’s life and lets you decide what happens next. In this installment, Elisabeth goes home to see her mom—without Brad—and then meets an old friend with an attractive offer. (Stories | May 23, 2005)

The Education of Elisabeth Eckleman: Date Unknown

Elisabeth Eckleman just left home, and has a lot of difficult decisions ahead of her. Sarah Hepola follows Elisabeth’s life and lets you make the tough choices for both of them. In this installment, Elisabeth questions how she feels about Chad, but then the unthinkable happens. You decide what happens next. (Stories | May 8, 2005)

The Education of Elisabeth Eckleman: Mother, Jugs, and Lone Star Beer

Elisabeth Eckleman just left home, and has a lot of difficult decisions ahead of her. Sarah Hepola follows Elisabeth’s life and lets you make the tough choices for both of them. In this installment, Elisabeth tries to figure out why her mom calls six times a day. You decide what happens next. (Stories | April 25, 2005)

The Education of Elisabeth Eckleman: Screw the R.A. (Wait, You Already Did)

Elisabeth Eckleman just left home, and has a lot of difficult decisions ahead of her. Sarah Hepola follows Elisabeth’s life and lets you make the tough choices for both of them. In this installment, Elisabeth tells Kat about what’s been going on with Geoff. You decide what happens next. (Stories | April 12, 2005)

The Education of Elisabeth Eckleman: Bright Eyes, Big City

Elisabeth Eckleman just left home, and has a lot of difficult decisions ahead of her. Sarah Hepola follows Elisabeth’s life and lets you make the tough choices for both of them. In this installment, Elisabeth goes to the Bright Eyes concert with her R.A. and continues to avoid her T.A. You decide what happens next. (Stories | March 24, 2005)

Of Recent Note: For Spring 2005

THE WRITERS spring on you the stuff they’re into right now—including what they’re reading, hearing, watching, finding, eating, using, installing, applying, and, yes, even scratching this season. (Opinions | March 22, 2005)

The Education of Elisabeth Eckleman: An Escape With Geoff

Elisabeth Eckleman just left home, and has a lot of difficult decisions ahead of her. Sarah Hepola follows Elisabeth’s life and lets you make the tough choices for both of them. In this installment, Elisabeth makes time for friends, but not for studying, and gets the grades to prove it. You decide what happens next. (Stories | February 15, 2005)

The Education of Elisabeth Eckleman: Flirting With Disaster

Elisabeth Eckleman just left home, and has a lot of difficult decisions ahead of her. Sarah Hepola follows Elisabeth’s life and lets you make the tough choices for both of them. In this installment, Elisabeth decides that when her date becomes a ho, she will too. You decide what happens next. (Stories | January 27, 2005)

The Education of Elisabeth Eckleman: Pimps & Ho’s

Elisabeth Eckleman just left home, and has a lot of difficult decisions ahead of her. Sarah Hepola follows Elisabeth’s life and lets you make the tough choices for both of them. In this installment, Elisabeth goes to a sorority party and isn’t sure what to do once the theme takes over. You decide what happens next. (Stories | January 12, 2005)

The Education of Elisabeth Eckleman: Class Begins

Elisabeth Eckleman just left home, and has a lot of difficult decisions ahead of her. Sarah Hepola follows Elisabeth’s life and lets you make the tough choices for both of them. In this installment, Elisabeth makes a new friend and isn’t sure if she should bring her boyfriend material to a party. You decide what happens next. (Stories | November 15, 2004)

The Education of Elisabeth Eckleman: Party With Kat

Elisabeth Eckleman just left home, and has a lot of difficult decisions ahead of her. Sarah Hepola follows Elisabeth’s life and lets you make the tough choices for both of them. In this installment, Elisabeth goes to a party with her roommate and meets a new somebody. You decide what happens next. (Stories | October 13, 2004)

Of Recent Note: For Fall 2004

Books, movies, shows, albums, artists, clothing, writing instruments, online “services,” ways to cook, things to eat, and more things to digest. What’s that? It’s what THE WRITERS have been very into lately, and think you might be too. Here are their Fall recommendations. (Opinions | October 13, 2004)

The Education of Elisabeth Eckleman: Freshman Year

Elisabeth Eckleman just left home, and has a lot of difficult decisions ahead of her. Sarah Hepola follows Elisabeth’s life and lets you make the tough choices for both of them. In this installment, Elisabeth loses her high-school boyfriend and drives to college with her parents. You decide what happens next. (Stories | September 28, 2004)

Since She Died

When a friend dies, your memories can absorb your every waking moment. And also your dreams. SARAH HEPOLA lives through the pain, the joy of remembrance, and the responsibility of both. Here is her story of love and loss. (Stories | August 4, 2004)

Of Recent Note: For Summer 2004

Of interest lately are special books, catchy songs, lovely clothes, and a slew of other wonderful items we’ve collectively enjoyed the last few weeks, and now wish to pass along for your very own summer pleasure. THE WRITERS recall and review. (Opinions | June 10, 2004)

The Non-Expert: Doing the Date

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week SARAH HEPOLA comes to the aid of a confused, heartbroken Romeo with a story of her someone else’s troubles in dating. (How To | March 19, 2004)

Roundtable: Children’s Music

We’ve seen their drawings of Radiohead songs, they tell us the Strokes make their heads hurt “like 100 dogs,” but how do we feel about their songs? LESLIE HARPOLD, SARAH HEPOLA, and CHOIRE SICHA listen to children’s music, weighing in on the state of the pint-sized. (Opinions | March 3, 2004)

Bright Nights, Big Mountains

The Sundance Film Festival may have a hard time maintaining its indie credibility, but as a magnet for celebrities there is little doubt about its powers. After a few days of film in Park City, writer SARAH HEPOLA looks back. (Personalities | January 26, 2004)

This Year, It’s Gonna Be Different

Perhaps the only joy in making new year’s resolutions is the variety of ice cream flavors it takes to break them. Or maybe this year will be different, wonders Sarah Hepola, writer with resolve. (Opinions | January 15, 2004)

Free Red Wine and Other Humiliations

Your parents and friends enjoy Christmas for similar reasons: your personal embarrassment, shame, and discomfort, assuming you’ve behaved badly enough to warrant their bowls full of jelly. SARAH HEPOLA looks back on a life of seasonal depression. (Stories | December 19, 2003)

Thriller

The allegations have set a fire in the media and a guilty verdict in the public’s mind. But the reason anyone cares at all in the first place is the music. Writer and once-Michael SARAH HEPOLA recalls what his landmark album means to her. (Stories | November 24, 2003)

The Love That We Came to Know

Love! Romance! Roller skates! Xanadu actor Michael Beck comes to town, and SARAH HEPOLA reflects on what the movie meant to an entire generation of little girls (and boys) who wanted to be Olivia Newton-John. (Personalities | November 3, 2003)

The Man Who Was Hook

Nothing says Halloween like a gutted teenager, or some other urban legend told around the candy bag. But hasn’t everyone already heard the ending? THE WRITERS band together for a dozen new ways to finish your story. (Stories | October 31, 2003)

Malcolm Gladwell

Author of The Tipping Point and a connoisseur of RonCo products, Malcolm Gladwell talks about his writing habits, the war effort, and the glory of being confused for Tommy Lee. (People | October 2, 2003)

Certifiable

Sure, teaching isn’t for everyone. Finding that out may be difficult, but the awful truth that drives many out of the classroom, screaming, is even harder to lern learn. SARAH HEPOLA was a teacher. (Personalities | September 25, 2003)

The Key to a Successful Freelance Career: A Diary

As more people work at home and telecommute, you can bet that the The View is expanding its influence. SARAH HEPOLA reports on the freelance life. (Opinions | July 23, 2003)

Here She Is…Miss American Idol

Justin! Kelly! Justin!! Kelly!!!! A throng of adoring fans in Burleson, Texas, welcomes Kelly Clarkson and co-star at her hometown stop on their movie tour. SARAH HEPOLA witnesses the mayhem. (Personalities | June 16, 2003)

To Tell You the Truth

As the journalism world feeds on its own frenzy, SARAH HEPOLA confronts an intimate past with exposed Times fabricator Jayson Blair, and her own history of exaggeration. (Personalities | May 16, 2003)

My Father Speaks Another Language

It’s been said that parents just don’t understand. But what about when it’s the other way around? SARAH HEPOLA hears what her father is saying, but still can’t decipher a word of it. (Personalities | April 22, 2003)

A Good Day To Be Alive

A conversation about life as a wino, the effects of war, heroin, Shiner, marriage and pornography, horseplay and jail, and the amount of muscles it takes to frown, between William and Sarah Hepola. (Personalities | March 27, 2003)

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

There’s a lot of land in the U.S., and it’s covered with roads. SARAH HEPOLA takes a cross-country tour, one hand on the wheel, the other on the camera. (Stories | March 14, 2003)

Starfucker

Meeting and interviewing (and yes, dating) the stars proves tiresome for even well-seasoned celebrity-worshipper Sarah Hepola. The life of lies and junkets, however, makes for the best party conversation. (Personalities | February 10, 2003)

A Game of Skill, Strategy, Chance

Since dating is already a game, it may be unwise to found a relationship on a shared passion for Sorry. SARAH HEPOLA ignores the meta-implications and tries to play by the rules. (Stories | January 9, 2003)

The Non-Expert: Santa Claus

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week THE WRITERS determine once and for all the existence of Santa Claus. (How To | December 20, 2002)

To the Teen Beat of His Own Drummer

Maybe all you know him as is ‘the other one’ from Weird Science, but SARAH HEPOLA interviewed Ilan Mitchell-Smith and bunked popular expectation by meeting a former-actor turned real-human-being (and Ph.D. candidate, no less). (Personalities | December 3, 2002)

It’s Not Easy Being Green

Sometimes the best person for the job actually gets it. With a good friend running for political office in Maine, SARAH HEPOLA hits the campaign trail. (Personalities | November 13, 2002)

Scary Stories

In celebration of Halloween, we’ve asked all the Contributing Writers to share a scary story. Here then, seven ways to get freaked out. (Stories | October 31, 2002)

Where Are You Now?

Possible humiliation, almost-certain ridicule, and excused overindulgence: Never one to flee from a challenge, SARAH HEPOLA goes to her high-school reunion. (Stories | October 17, 2002)

From Here to There

Stalking may not be in right now, but don’t let that deter you: SARAH HEPOLA spent a day following people around New York and had a great time, despite the lunatics. (New York, New York | September 19, 2002)

A Few of a Million Postcards

You’re traveling and your laptop’s at home; how the hell do you share how much fun you’re having? Thankfully, SARAH HEPOLA has laid out a few, simple postcard-templates for the rest of us to follow. (Stories | August 6, 2002)

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