The Morning News

Watching • Video Digest: April 20, 2007

I spent my college years working at a daycare with four- and five-year-olds who screamed a lot, hurt themselves easily, and sometimes wet the bed. They reminded me a lot of my friends at the time. Turn on loud music, blow some atmospheric bubbles, and the only difference between my toddlers and my college buddies was 15 years and a bottle of Goldschlager. This lead me to a theory, which I still hold today, that children are just a bunch of drunk people. I’m sure someone funnier and smarter and less lazy than I am has written a ribald essay on this topic. In the meantime, here are a few videos which prove my point.



Frankly, this is funnier than Blades of Glory. Forget John Heder. Will Ferrell’s next sidekick should be Suri Cruise. (Shout-out to Rachel for sending the video.)


* * *


Here is a YouTube chestnut of yore, the crazy laughing baby who seems to have just loaded up on whip-its. If this baby isn’t diaper-deep into a Jack Daniels bender, then I just don’t know my alcoholics anymore.



Also, here is a baby named Theo who probably murdered his parents shortly after this video was shot:



And now, an imitation of me last Sunday morning at 4 a.m. How did this baby know I was wearing that basketball jersey?




* * *


Well, I think I’ve proved my point. It wasn’t like I was proving the existence of God, after all; this is kind of a no-brainer. But to bring this whole spiel together, here’s the Baby Jesus Prayer as performed by Will Ferrell in Talladega Nights. Haven’t seen it yet? No need. Just watch this. Amen.



 —Sarah Hepola, Apr. 20, 2007
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