The Morning News

October 1, 2008, 3:14 P.M.


In advance of tomorrow night’s debate both Senator Biden and Governor Palin have been receiving advice from all corners, but you know what they say about opinions, they’re like assholes, everyone’s got one and they usually stink.

For Palin, the worry on the right is mounting faster than the Federal deficit. I spoke about the Free Palin crowd in a recent post who think an unleashed candidate will drench us in a tsunami of regularness. We should note that there’s an almost equally large contingent of “Already Thrown in the Towlers,” including George Will, David Frum and even syndicated columnist Kathleen Parker who never met a conservative cause she didn’t want to cuddle like a new puppy. (By way of reference, Parker has already posted a positive review of “conservative” comedy An American Carol, which even sight unseen I’m pretty sure sucks harder than the latest Dyson vacuum.)

For her trouble, Parker was told to eat shit and die by her apparently former fans. Parker says this is a sign of our declining discourse. At the risk of sounding impolitic I’d like to say it’s closer to “payback’s a bitch.”

She appears to now be an active drain on McCain’s chances. Palin’s impact has been kind of like the effect Ted McGinley has on a television show, an initial spike in interest followed by the realization that the whole thing is actually a rotting corpse that deserved a decent burial instead of an attempt at reanimation. There was a thought that if McCain “played it safe” he’d lose with a Dole-like honor, but clearly, McCain is playing to win. Unfortunately, his campaign is so disorganized and chaotic it makes the plot of Lost look like something by Hitchcock. I have this image of Obama and McCain in a boxing match. Obama is up on his toes, bouncing around the ring, throwing jabs, while McCain fights like an overmatched fifth grader utilizing a windmill style, arms flailing uncontrollably. Sure, sometimes a punch lands, but he always looks kind of dumb doing it.

So, the thought is that if it hasn’t happened already, on Thursday, Palin could sink the ticket completely. This strikes me as unlikely, not only because thanks to her previous attempts at semi-coherence, expectations couldn’t be lower, but reporting suggests that she more than held her own in her gubernatorial debates in Alaska.

Like the Free Paliners say, it really couldn’t get worse, could it?


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