Headlines from April 2, 2007

Supreme Court rules that EPA has the right, possibly the obligation, to regulate automobile emissions.
Critics claim New York treats child prostitutes like prostitutes first and children second.
U.K. and Argentina commemorate 25th anniversary Falklands War, vow revenge; meanwhile, Falklanders themselves seek to lure in cruise ships.
I forgot why I got grounded, but I certainly don't like it. Small town abuses letter-to-the-editor column.
President Bush declines throwing baseball's opening pitch for second year in row, joining the ranks of Wilson and Nixon as spoil sports.
Why are there no female Major League umpires? And how do swimmers keep getting faster?
The sole woman on FBI's Most Wanted List was arrested Saturday.
New Mexico's "Tamalewood" aims to take on its California-based big brother.
Conservative Ukrainians are not happy their Eurovision entrant is a drag queen. We, however, are quite pleased.
The disciples were probably tripping when they saw him walking on water. Hip-hop congregation endorses scripture, krumping.
If your evening plans so require: a free ransom note generator.
If your dinner plans so require: mashed potato meat cake.
Nation's biggest school bus maker beats auto industry to the plug-in hybrid punch. (School buses always win.)
Code-named "Dark Porcelain," Google said its "Toilet Internet Service Provider" (TiSP) works with Microsoft Corp.'s new Windows Vista operating system. Not funny, Google. Not funny. (See original.)
Iraqis say civilian death toll rose by 13 percent in March; U.S. figures say Baghdad violence is down 25 percent.
Clinton raised $26 million in the first quarter of 2007, more than any candidate ever.
Op: Concerning the British sailors, "a power that can be bullied without fear of retribution by a second-rate power is not much of a power at all."
Or as Rosie O'Donnell puts it, in poetry no less: "The British did it on purpose."
Zimbabwe's neighbors give Mugabe the go-ahead, blame Western sanctions.
Crichton: Your robot doctor's diagnosis is no match for my hunch.
There are 32 cameras within 200 yards of George Orwell's old apartment.
Optimistic outlooks cited in annual report from newspaper editors, though animal attacks on reporters go unmentioned.
Roth wins first Bellow award; DeLillo's alive and writing; Tony Blair to retread the boards.
We have no idea what Jane Austen looked like, though publishers prefer to believe she wasn't homely.
Harper's redesigns, puts its entire archive online for subscribers.
Brides: write an essay and win a never-worn, never-seen wedding dress.
Cheerleading's popular in the emergency room, and responsible for a staggering percentage of "catastrophic injuries."
Who turned the thermostat down? A fat old man. Who turned it up? An anorexic teenybopper.
Today's long read: Wolfowitz's new crusade to end poverty, court World Bank board members, and survive political winds.
NYU economist: Please stop giving your money to Ghana.
Offices of various New Yorkers.