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11 April 2002

By The Morning News —
  • New York is currently: the most beautiful city in the world
  • Colin Powell heads to Israel.
  • Israeli troops occupy more Palestinian regions, withdraw from two dozen West Bank villages.
  • Sharon losing support in White House.
  • Twin Towers light memorial to go dim this weekend.
  • Final day of De Niro's Tribeca Film Festival to feature private showings of Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones for the families of September 11 victims. Public showings of the film on that day will raise funds for the families.
  • Kathleen Christison, former CIA political analyst, leads mideast discussion with many good points.
  • Franzen didn't kill it: why Oprah's book club really died.
  • New U.S. currency to incorporate color. New counterfeiters expected to come from a strong graphic arts background, three to five years' experience preferred.
  • Ed McMahon's house infested with toxic mold; McMahon sues home insurance company, claims the mold made his family sick and killed Muffin, their dog.
  • 'My Services,' the heart of the Microsoft .NET maelstrom, to be shelved because of privacy and security concerns. Gee, that's a first.
  • You should know that Netflix is currently the best reason for having this whole Internet business.
  • Neutra house demolished. No-one seems to know why.
  • Attention: stop exercising now. Scientists are developing the exercise pill. And, if you're going out, please pick me up some Ding-Dongs.
  • Those hip nicotine lollipops are now illegal says regularly un-hip FDA, while wearing monk-strap shoes, green-and-gold-striped linen culottes, Le Coq Sportif t-shirt, and round sunglasses.
  • FuckedCompany book reportedly not good; chronic masturbation somehow related.
  • Upgrade your applications before you get too close to them.
  • Amazon provides a better service of offloading used books than, say, The Strand, but you're still screwing the author.
  • 69-year-old woman gets manicure, holds salon employees hostage for eight hours, and not, as might be expected, with stories of cute things her grandchildren have said.
  • Show and Tell.