25 January 2011: Morning By The Morning News — 25 Jan 2011 Postal Service streamlines store closing process, plans to shutter 2,000 locations in two years. Historian accused of altering date on Lincoln pardon to hours before his assassination. Reboot, reject, recast: How to stop James Bond from getting old. Instead of casting, reality TV recruiters troll bars for alpha subjects. See also: The Omarosa Experiment, Paris Hilton and the American Cannibal. A study maps the anatomy of a smile to discern its true nature. The middle right ab bulges handsomely thanks to talk radio. Odenkirk explains his six-pack. Film editing legend Walter Murch describes how human evolution and optics guarantee 3D's failure. Today's record-seeking athletes struggle against the hardest obstacle in history: biology. Americans: What is your state the worst at? Related: Map of Twitter profanity. With few controls in place, study approves wearing the same jeans everyday without washing them. "Taco Bell's definition of 'seasoned beef' does not conform to consumers' reasonable expectation." What a vegetarian can learn by eating at White Castle for a week: cravings are fleeting. "Austerity": 1/8 of a shot. 2011 State of the Union Drinking Game. Biden reports for jury duty.
