28 January 2005 By The Morning News — 28 Jan 2005 New York's currently: a fjord of storm gutters Election in Iraq: Country goes into three-day lockdown as the violence continues and a candidate is assassinated. The FBI is going ahead with expanding its intelligence gathering on foreign entities within the U.S. despite the CIA's muffled cries of turf poaching. Dick Cheney attends dignitary-coated Auschwitz memorial "dressed in the kind of attire one typically wears to operate a snow blower." (See photo.) [via TP] Man arrested in L.A. for attempting copycat train-crash suicide. Michigan company really does give employees a choice between quitting smoking or quitting their jobs, but despite reports, it's not really firing the obese. "I came to New York to go shopping and get drunk." With the dollar on the dole, British tourists flock to New York. "Prince Valiant" and more in the Spring 2005 issue of Brevity. Like Yellow Submarine, but with a different costume: Stan Lee unveils plans to turn Ringo Starr into an animated superhero. I plan on doing this every month until I pay them off. A gallery of hand-drawn credit-card statements. If you don't want to exercise, you can still stay in shape by fidgeting. Following powerful sonar activity off N.C. shore, at least 37 whales beached and died. You could own an acoustic guitar decorated by Neutral Milk Hotel's Jeff Mangum. Have a secret you want everyone to know? PostSecret is your anonymous worldwide confession. After Sunday's fire some NYC subways resort to manual signaling; here's how it works. Because maybe you've been there, or because maybe you never will: Zzyzx Road.
