31 May 2007: Afternoon By The Morning News — 31 May 2007 Bush calls for global emissions standards; rest of the world points frantically at Kyoto. Nigeria files charges against Pfizer for 1996 deaths of children during a meningitis drug trial. Sudanese ambassador threatens America's cola supply over Darfur. Eating corgis is yesterday's news; eating your girlfriend's guinea pig is today's. Science decides animals--even little guinea pigs--have personalities. First panda bred in captivity and later released into the wild fails at tree-climbing. "The kingdom of Spain has not abandoned its sunken ships or sunken property." So kindly turn over the 500,000 gold coins you salvaged. Christiania, "Europe's oldest hippie commune," soon to be shut down. Italian prisoners serving life sentences plead for the president to reinstate the death penalty. Britain just 160 inmates away from maxing out its prison capacity. Op: Every hour, students at Gettysburg College in Pennsylvania commit sexual misconduct. Calm the children: The "Wizarding World Of Harry Potter" theme park doesn't open for another two years. Bolivia pitches a fit when FIFA bans games at over 8,200 feet above sea level. Signs of the End Times: A history of witty church marquees; a chance to create your own.
