5 April 2007: Afternoon
By The Morning News
—
Nearly 1,600 tourists, most of them Americans, evacuated from a sinking cruise ship in the Aegean.
With the exception of drunk men overboard, cruise ships are generally considered safe.
With Congress out of session and unable to object, a major "Swift Boat" backer is appointed ambassador to Belgium.
Census data
show that without immigration, America's largest cities would shrink--New York alone would be down 600,000 residents
After eight years of drought, western states have started looking for long-term water solutions.
Australia is already one step ahead with Water Restriction Community Officers and lawns that thrive on saltwater.
Four thousand Manchester United fans follow their team to Rome; 3,982 make it home without being hospitalized.
"The Divine also told me to transmit soul acupuncture. He told me, I will download a soul acupuncture needle. Silent DownLOAAAD!!" Dr. Sha brings faith healing into the internet age.
Presence of a faint vanilla aroma means Joan of Arc is most likely a mummy.
The hunt is on for a new Bob Barker, but when Mario Lopez tells us to spay or neuter our pets, will he really mean it?
After a gruesome Tokyo murder, commentators wonder whether Japan is really as safe as we fear.
How to become America's Most Wanted; how to safely sell diamonds door-to-door.
"I know. Hieroglyphics self-taught are a chore, Robin; but, it is a surefire way to unravel the secrets of the ancient mystics." Batman lectures Robin.
Peas, please, but better frozen than fresh.
