6 March 2007: Afternoon

Scientists want to determine why part of the earth's crust is missing along the mid-Atlantic ridge.

"Did the fish bring us good luck? Definitely," said Mr. Ly, who owns three restaurants and sports a diamond-studded Rolex. Maine restauranteur gets his koi back.

Book publishers no longer buy ads in newspaper book sections; consequently, in the past decade the number of dedicated sections has been cut in half.

"The right to boo is as inalienable to a sports fan as life, liberty and the pursuit of the hotdog vendor." New law that would outlaw booing is met with, well, jeers.

The Onion: "Condoleezza Rice Drives Halfway to Airport Before Realizing She Forgot Interpreter."

Vitamin-rich rice enhanced with human genes involved in producing breast milk to be grown in Kansas.

How are you, "currently?" Leave a message at (718) 371-1016 and tell us how you're doing.

However hard you may try to escape your surroundings, there's always a group of German eco-tourists who will come a-knocking on your hole.

It's been 50 years since Ayn Rand finished Atlas Shrugged--what have we learned? Aside from "taxation is theft?"

"Clinginess" may be unattractive, but it could be the key to reward.

Due to Tournament of Books preparation, there will be no evening headlines today--have you entered our contest?