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The Non-Expert

Name That Congress

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week we reveal how George W. Bush will nickname every one of his new, non-Republican buddies in Congress.

Have a question? Need some advice? Ignored by everyone else? Send us your questions via email. The Non-Expert handles all subjects and is updated on Fridays, and is written by a member of The Morning News staff.


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Question: I couldn’t be more excited about the Democrats taking back Congress this week. Do you think Bush is going to play nice with the new Democratic majority? Or do you think he’s going to be a lame-duck jerk for the next two years?—Allison

Answer: Though the president may harbor some sour grapes about the outcomes of the mid-term elections, there’s no denying that two years is a long time to hold a grudge. I predict not only will he find a way to work with the non-GOPers in Congress, he’ll eventually come to embrace their individual personalities. We can be sure the transformation is complete when he bestows upon each of his new coworkers one of his unique nicknames. Turd Blossom, meet your competition.


Arkansas: Blanche L. Lincoln (Honeysuckle)

Arkansas: Mark L. Pryor (Taps)

California: Barbara Boxer (Right Hook)

California: Dianne Feinstein (Lady)

Colorado: Ken Salazar (Czar)

Connecticut: Christopher Dodd (Doddy Warbucks)

Connecticut: Joseph Lieberman (Hold Steady)

Delaware: Joseph Biden (Plant)

Delaware: Thomas Carper (Dice)

Florida: Bill Nelson (Coach)

Hawaii: Daniel Akaka (Also Known As)

Hawaii: Daniel Inouye (Big Island)

Illinois: Richard Durbin (Wishbone)

Illinois: Barack Obama (Cool Hand)

Indiana: Evan Bayh (Bear)

Iowa: Tom Harkin (Gambler)

Louisiana: Mary Landrieu (Crawdaddy)

Maryland: Benjamin Cardin (Pierre)

Maryland: Barbara Mikulski (Snow Bunny)

Massachusetts: John Kerry (Shore Leave)

Massachusetts: Edward Kennedy (The Elder Statesman)

Michigan: Carl Levin (Lucky Number Levin)

Michigan: Deborah Stabenow (What Now)

Minnesota: Amy Klobuchar (Char)

Missouri: Claire McCaskill (Claire Bear)

Montana: Max Baucus (B.A.)

Montana: Jon Tester (Patience)

Nebraska: Ben Nelson (Burrito Ben)

Nevada: Harry Reid (Dennis Hastert)

New Jersey: Frank Lautenberg (Hold the Mayo)

New Jersey: Robert Menendez (The Good Doctor)

New Mexico: Jeff Bingaman (Cherry Garcia)

New York: Hillary Clinton (Night Court)

New York: Charles Schumer (“M”)

North Dakota: Byron Dorgan (Doogan McPhee)

North Dakota: Gaylord Conrad (The Commodore)

Ohio: Sherrod Brown (Dolomite)

Oregon: Ron Wyden (Harry Potter)

Pennsylvania: Robert Casey Jr. (After Hours)

Rhode Island: Sheldon Whitehouse (Popcorn)

Rhode Island: Jack Reed (Warren Beatty)

South Dakota: Tim Johnson (T.J. Hooker)

Vermont: Patrick Leahy (Flanahan)

Vermont: Bernard Sanders (Bernsy)

Virginia: James Webb (Macaca)

Washington: Patty Murray (Pat Murr)

Washington: Maria Cantwell (Mary Contrary)

West Virginia: John D. Rockefeller IV (J.D. Bigups)

West Virginia: Robert Byrd (Eagle)

Wisconsin: Russell Feingold (Iron Fist)

Wisconsin: Herb Kohl (Kohl-pepper)


Alabama-05: Robert “Bud” Cramer (Robert)

Alabama-07: Artur Davis (Silent “H”)

Arizona-04: Ed Pastor (Pork Belly)

Arizona-05: Harry Mitchell (Chad)

Arizona-07: Raul Grijalva (Kolache)

Arizona-08: Gabrielle Giffords (GiGi)

Arkansas-01: Marion Berry (Not That One)

Arkansas-02: Vic Snyder (Icepick)

Arkansas-04: Mike Ross (The Boz)

California-01: Michael Thompson (Heavy D)

California-05: Doris Matsui (Chana Masala)

California-06: Lynn Woolsey (The Silver Fox)

California-07: George Miller (Dusty)

California-08: Nancy Pelosi (Lodestar)

California-09: Barbara Lee (Afterglow)

California-10: Ellen Tauscher (Rorschach)

California-11: Jerry McNerney (Big City)

California-12: Tom Lantos (The Green Lantern)

California-13: Fortney “Pete” Stark (Fortney)

California-14: Anna Eshoo (Pete)

California-15: Michael Honda (Nitrous)

California-16: Zoe Lofgren (Nils)

California-17: Sam Farr (The Salt Prophet)

California-18: Dennis Cardoza (Wheels)

California-20: Jim Costa (Faceman)

California-23: Lois Capps (Twiggy)

California-27: Brad Sherman (Tango)

California-28: Howard Berman (Cash)

California-29: Adam Schiff (County Line)

California-30: Henry Waxman (Mr. Miyagi)

California-31: Xavier Becerra (Professor X)

California-32: Hilda Solis (Isolde)

California-33: Diane Watson (Big Cindy)

California-34: Lucille Roybal-Allard (Snake Charmer)

California-35: Maxine Waters (Single Ply)

California-36: Jane Harman (Turducken)

California-37: Juanita Millender-McDonald (Sally Jesse Raphael)

California-38: Grace Napolitano (Rigoletto)

California-39: Linda Sanchez (Dirty)

California-43: Joe Baca (Chewie)

California-47: Loretta Sanchez (Clean)

California-51: Robert Filner (Data)

California-53: Susan Davis (Gray)

Colorado-01: Diana DeGette (Frenchie)

Colorado-02: Mark Udall (Cornhusker)

Colorado-03: John Salazar (USDA Prime)

Colorado-07: Edwin Perlmutter (The Assassin)

Connecticut-01: John Larson (Lar and the Boys)

Connecticut-02: Joseph Courtney (Winter Peach)

Connecticut-03: Rosa DeLauro (Gilda)

Connecticut-05: Chris Murphy (Murph)

Florida-02: Allen Boyd (Hard Boiled)

Florida-03: Corrine Brown (Weezy)

Florida-11: Katherine Castor (Syrup)

Florida-16: Timothy “Tim” Mahoney (Tiny)

Florida-17: Kendrick Meek (Ironsides)

Florida-19: Robert Wexler (Hammerhead)

Florida-20: Debbie Wasserman Schultz (D-Dub)

Florida-22: Ronald “Ron” Klein (Kelly)

Florida-23: Alcee Hastings (Smokestack)

Georgia-02: Sanford Bishop (The Priest)

Georgia-04: Hank Johnson (Flip)

Georgia-05: John Lewis (Danny)

Georgia-08: Jim Marshall (Captain Stubing)

Georgia-12: John Barrow (Clara Dee)

Georgia-13: David Scott (Spokes)

Hawaii-01: Neil Abercrombie (Sidesaddle)

Hawaii-02: Mazie Hirono (Hang Ten)

Illinois-01: Bobby Rush (40-Yard)

Illinois-02: Jesse Jackson (The Other One)

Illinois-03: Daniel Lipinski (Sitting Pretty)

Illinois-04: Luis Gutierrez (Gutsy)

Illinois-05: Rahm Emanuel (Rambo)

Illinois-07: Danny Davis (Double Dutch)

Illinois-08: Melissa Bean (Blue Bell)

Illinois-09: Jan Schakowsky (Shakey)

Illinois-12: Jerry Costello (Potatoes)

Illinois-17: Philip Hare (Chi-Town)

Indiana-01: Peter Visclosky (Gepetto)

Indiana-02: Joseph Donnelly (The Hammer)

Indiana-07: Julia Carson (Hello Nurse)

Indiana-08: Brad Ellsworth (Melville)

Indiana-09: Baron Hill (Sojourn)

Iowa-01: Bruce Braley (Armadillo)

Iowa-02: Dave Loebsack (Sack)

Iowa-03: Leonard Boswell (Mr. C)

Kansas-02: Nancy Boyda (Boilermaker)

Kansas-03: Dennis Moore (007)

Kentucky-03: John Yarmuth (Top Hat)

Kentucky-06: Ben Chandler (The Shopkeeper)

Louisiana-02: William Jefferson (B.J.)

Louisiana-03: Charlie Melancon (Mississippi Mud)

Maine-01: Thomas Allen (Green Mountain)

Maine-02: Michael Michaud (Manny)

Maryland-02: C.A. Ruppersberger (Heck Salad)

Maryland-03: John Sarbanes (The Sorbonne)

Maryland-04: Albert Wynn (Winn-Dixie)

Maryland-05: Steny Hoyer (Oscar de la Hoya)

Maryland-07: Elijah Cummings (Felix)

Maryland-08: Chris Van Hollen (Wolfgang)

Massachusetts-01: John Olver (Team)

Massachusetts-02: Richard Neal (Jackrabbit)

Massachusetts-03: James McGovern (Mickey G)

Massachusetts-04: Barney Frank (Bedrock)

Massachusetts-05: Marty Meehan (Meat)

Massachusetts-06: John Tierney (Android)

Massachusetts-07: Edward Markey (One Shot)

Massachusetts-08: Michael Capuano (The Don)

Massachusetts-09: Stephen Lynch (Oakie)

Massachusetts-10: William Delahunt (Shrimp Boat)

Michigan-01: Bart Stupak (Big Bad)

Michigan-05: Dale Kildee (Joyride)

Michigan-12: Sander Levin (Zander)

Michigan-13: Carolyn Cheeks Kilpatrick (Quiet Storm)

Michigan-14: John Conyers (Cougar)

Michigan-15: John Dingell (Dingus)

Minnesota-01: Timothy Walz (Sugar)

Minnesota-04: Betty McCollum (Betty McReady)

Minnesota-05: Keith Ellison (Big Keith)

Minnesota-07: Collin Peterson (Little Keith)

Minnesota-08: James Oberstar (“O” Face)

Mississippi-02: Bennie Thompson (Jets)

Mississippi-04: Gene Taylor (Norris)

Missouri-01: William Clay (Billy Ray)

Missouri-03: Russ Carnahan (Callaghan)

Missouri-04: Ike Skelton (Red)

Missouri-05: Emanuel Cleaver (Beaver)

Nevada-01: Shelley Berkley (Too-Tall)

New Hampshire-01: Carol Shea-Porter (Crispy)

New Hampshire-02: Paul Hodes (Down Under)

New Jersey-01: Robert Andrews (Scotty)

New Jersey-06: Frank Pallone (Sly)

New Jersey-08: Bill Pascrell (Cowboy)

New Jersey-09: Steven Rothman (Hannibal)

New Jersey-10: Donald Payne (The Major)

New Jersey-12: Rush Holt (44)

New Jersey-13: Albio Sires (Mason-Dixon)

New Mexico-01: Patricia Madrid (The Swashbuckler)

New Mexico-03: Thomas Udall (Come ‘n Get It)

New York-01: Timothy Bishop (The Pope)

New York-02: Steve Israel (Cochese)

New York-04: Carolyn McCarthy (Cornflower)

New York-05: Gary Ackerman (Tailgunner)

New York-06: Gregory Meeks (The Sheik)

New York-07: Joseph Crowley (Dungeonmaster)

New York-08: Jerrold Nadler (Nad-man)

New York-09: Anthony Weiner (Antone)

New York-10: Edolphus Towns (Teddy)

New York-11: Yvette Clarke (Corvette)

New York-12: Nydia Velazquez (The Chosen One)

New York-14: Carolyn Maloney (Tess)

New York-15: Charles Rangel (Fly)

New York-16: Jose Serrano (Jack Pepper)

New York-17: Eliot Engel (Elvis)

New York-18: Nita Lowey (Margarita)

New York-19: John Hall (Sniglet)

New York-20: Kirsten Gillibrand (Gilly)

New York-21: Michael McNulty (Mickey McMickey)

New York-22: Maurice Hinchey (Morris)

New York-24: Michael Arcuri (Facts)

New York-27: Brian Higgins (Shakedown)

New York-28: Louise Slaughter (Take No Prisoners)

North Carolina-01: George Butterfield (The Hornet)

North Carolina-02: Bob Etheridge (E-Bob)

North Carolina-04: David Price (Setter-Upper)

North Carolina-07: Mike McIntyre (Mikey Macky)

North Carolina-11: Joseph Shuler (Schooly)

North Carolina-12: Mel Watt (Power Play)

North Carolina-13: Ralph Miller (Dances With Wolves)

North Dakota-01: Earl Pomeroy (The Little Prince)

Ohio-06: Charles Wilson (Two Buck Chuck)

Ohio-09: Marcy Kaptur (Marcy Marc)

Ohio-10: Dennis Kucinich (Dashboard)

Ohio-11: Stephanie Tubbs Jones (Crockett)

Ohio-13: Betty Sutton (Wonderbread)

Ohio-17: Tim Ryan (Tumbleweed)

Ohio-18: Zachary Space (Spacemaker)

Oklahoma-02: Daniel Boren (Midas)

Oregon-01: David Wu (The Ringmaster)

Oregon-03: Earl Blumenauer (Elmer)

Oregon-04: Peter DeFazio (Saint Peter)

Oregon-05: Darlene Hooley (Pussycat)

Pennsylvania-01: Robert Brady (Chow)

Pennsylvania-02: Chaka Fattah (Shakira)

Pennsylvania-04: Jason Altmire (Quagmire)

Pennsylvania-07: Joe Sestak (Lightning)

Pennsylvania-08: Patrick Murphy (Patty)

Pennsylvania-10: Christopher Carney (10CC)

Pennsylvania-11: Paul Kanjorski (Pearl Jam)

Pennsylvania-12: John Murtha (Mothra)

Pennsylvania-13: Allyson Schwartz (Last Dance)

Pennsylvania-14: Michael Doyle (The Dealer)

Pennsylvania-17: Tim Holden (William)

Rhode Island-01: Patrick Kennedy (Runt)

Rhode Island-02: James Langevin (Scotch)

South Carolina-05: John Spratt (Jack)

South Carolina-06: James Clyburn (Coburn)

South Dakota-01: Stephanie Herseth (Double Take)

Tennessee-04: Lincoln Davis (Honest Dave)

Tennessee-05: James Cooper (Fenimore)

Tennessee-06: Barton Gordon (Fink)

Tennessee-08: John Tanner (D.J.)

Tennessee-09: Stephen Cohen (SteveCo)

Texas-09: Alexander Green (Alexander the Great)

Texas-15: Ruben Hinojosa (Riverwalk)

Texas-16: Silvestre Reyes (Phoenix)

Texas-17: Chet Edwards (Roachclips)

Texas-18: Sheila Jackson Lee (Sex and the City)

Texas-20: Charlie Gonzalez (Soft Touch)

Texas-22: Nicholas Lampson (Harpoon)

Texas-25: Lloyd Doggett (Hullabaloo)

Texas-27: Solomon Ortiz (Dugout)

Texas-28: Henry Cuellar (Crotch Rocket)

Texas-29: Gene Green (Mr. Green Jeans)

Texas-30: Eddie Johnson (Edwina)

Utah-02: Jim Matheson (The Wiz)

Vermont-01: Peter Welch (Grape Ape)

Virginia-03: Robert Scott (Mortimer)

Virginia-08: James Moran (Here Comes Trouble)

Virginia-09: Rick Boucher (Bouchon)

Washington-01: Jay Inslee (Silent Jay)

Washington-02: Rick Larsen (Plan B)

Washington-03: Brian Baird (Loaf Pincher)

Washington-06: Norman Dicks (Gladrag)

Washington-07: Jim McDermott (Slowpoke)

Washington-09: Adam Smith (The Matrix)

West Virginia-01: Alan Mollohan (Holler Over Here)

West Virginia-03: Nick Rahall (Raheem)

Wisconsin-02: Tammy Baldwin (Penny)

Wisconsin-03: Ron Kind (Bud)

Wisconsin-04: Gwen Moore (No Doubt)

Wisconsin-07: David Obey (Jedi)

Wisconsin-08: Steve Kagen (Josh)


Andrew Womack is a founding editor of The Morning News. He is always working on the next installment of the Albums of the Year series at TMN. More by Andrew Womack