August 12, 2011: Morning
By The Morning News
—
- Pulling support for Syria, Saudi Arabia may doom the regime, prove ability to make or break others.
- Unlike London, schools burned in Paris—both "dancing on volcano" of social injustice.
- Never has the world economy depended so much on the success of developing nations.
- Germans aren't protesting bailouts because it's too abstract.
- Germany's Ronny Wechselberger wins Guinness World Record for tightest parallel parking.
- Pennsylvania judge sentenced to 28 years for exchanging bribes from juvenile prisons for inmates.
- Wyoming markets wild mustangs as tourist attraction, simultaneously conspires to get rid of them.
- Park Service discriminates against human culture in attempt to make nature more natural.
- Paper: Philosophy is the same as it was 2,000 years ago, bar linguistic and logical flourishes.
- In New York's Shakespeare Riots of 1849, 26 people died in a dispute over the best Macbeth.
- "Bell-wether," "jing-bang," and other historical forms of looting slang.
- Dressed as centurions, Italian police bust tourist-preying gladiators, sword fight ensues.
- UN sets word limit on documents to save money, time, cut bureaucracy.
