I cannot separate the songs I loved as a child from their videos. “Rio?” That’s a song about sailing the Caribbean and pouring melted pink ice cream on yourself. “Billie Jean?” Requires light-up tile floors. “Hello” is about some blind chick in Lionel Richie’s acting class (a
As a kid, I loved candy cigarettes. I was obsessed with Hollywood glamour, with being an adult even as I was just learning the wobbly letters of my first name. It was a powerful feeling to slip that sweet, chalky stick between my lips and puff away. If you sucked
I’ve never been a big fan of House, the television show. I find it painfully contrived, annoyingly outlandish. I’m a kid who grew up on St. Elsewhere and General Hospital; if a medical drama strikes me as unrealistic, then we know things are bad. That said, I’ve
Rosie O’Donnell is leaving The View. Shh, shh, little bear, it’s going to be OK. I know what you’re wondering. You’re wondering: What will my day be like without a kneejerk, vaguely incoherent lesbian to organize my day? Watch this video. Why? Because it would piss
I spent my college years working at a daycare with four- and five-year-olds who screamed a lot, hurt themselves easily, and sometimes wet the bed. They reminded me a lot of my friends at the time. Turn on loud music, blow some atmospheric bubbles, and the only difference
Not enough square footage and too little privacy are the trademarks of New York dwelling. Learning new ways to be neighborly as the woman across the hall moans on her deathbed.
Each week, as I sift through online videos for this column, I kick one of my ballet slippers up onto my studio barre, bust out a few pliés, and and try to find an overarching theme to unite the week’s digest. Usually these themes come to me immediately, even
I used to think I would die from some relatively ordinary cause: heart attack, cancer, falling down the stairs in platform heels. It has now become clear that the icy fingers of death will be more like furry paws. Death by adorable animal video? It could happen. But which is
The top Google result for the term “instructional videos” is this site. It contains such classics as “Good Dog Massage” and “Sharpening Simplified.” Somebody needs more Bob Ross in their lives. I was Googling instructional videos because, let’s face it: They’re funny, and I’m bored. These may
If you haven’t seen the video clips of Lily Tomlin and David O. Russell having respective meltdowns on the set of I Heart Huckabees, you owe it to yourself to watch. Consider it your spa day, your mental health vacation, except instead of soothing it’s traumatic and shriekish,
