Dark Waters
Some of the world’s largest, oldest fish live in Oregon. Why anyone would want to vandalize them, even abduct them, takes explaining.
Stories
A collection of 168 issues
Hunting the Hound
A lifelong phobia is the result of a terrifying childhood incident. But the real culprit may be Arthur Conan Doyle.
The Riflemaker Dreams of Africa
The American West is a myth. One Wyoming gunmaker looks anywhere else—abroad, in the past, in himself—for new wilderness.
Tsujita LA Artisan Noodle
Sometimes a bowl of noodles is big enough to absorb conversation, literature, and the love lives of those nearby.
The Limousine
Prom is a big night for many teenagers, full of firsts. First corsage. First big dance. Never mind first time in a limo—with disastrous results.
The Great Gtzzby
The Jazz Age blasts into orbit, adding oxygen parties and mighty pincers to the rise-and-fall decadence of the intergalactic one percent.
Lean Into a Croissant Doughnut
Brief updates to news stories that have slipped off the front page. This week: schoolgirls in Nigeria, Malaysian Airlines Flight 370, Josh Hartnett’s career, and more.
Essaying Through Life
A youthful pledge to become an essayist gets lost.
Chrissy Smoked
Twice a year, a group of friends gathered in a coal-mining pocket of Pennsylvania—friends in their twenties with fragile identities, who didn’t know yet what would happen.
A Man Enough
Eventually a man who’s always in motion, always fixing something, will stop. Decline of the patriarch reveals an entire family’s vulnerability.
Our Hallow’s Eve
When dementia gets its grip on a father who always loved slasher movies, a daughter struggles to hold on—if only to the ghost of recognition.
Cicadian Rhythms
Should the cicadas arrive just in time for your wedding—biblical, unexpected, and yet, routine as clockwork—there’s nothing to do but carry on with the ceremony. Come hell or, in fact, high water.
Odd People Here
The United States is a huge country, much too big for the nightly news. Our series continues where one of our editors randomly calls people in small towns around America to find out what’s really going on.
Tony Horwitz
Our man in Boston sits down for a frank accounting with Tony Horwitz, author of beloved works like Confederates in the Attic: Dispatches From the Unfinished Civil War. Here they chat about his new book on John Brown—still a divisive figure in America, particularly in these days of terrorism—and the
Joan Wickersham
Our man in Boston sits down for an extended chat with author Joan Wickersham about her new story collection, lurking near architects, the wisdom of good editors, how to profit from artist colonies, and the benefits of avoiding the MFA trap.
Announcing the 2013 Tournament of Books
The ides of March may be four months away, but a certain rooster is sick of waiting. Introducing the finalists and judges for TMN's ninth annual Tournament of Books, presented by NOOK® by Barnes & Noble.
Irina Bogatyreva
The latest salvo from our Reading Roulette series of contemporary Russian literature—stories you'll rarely find elsewhere in translation, unfortunately. This month we bring you a contender for the Debut Prize, Russia’s preeminent award for young writers.
Olga Slavnikova
We’ve emptied half the cylinder in our Reading Roulette series of contemporary Russian literature—stories you won’t find anywhere else in translation, unfortunately. This month we usher to the table a 2013 Russian Booker Prize contender for a shot at blowing your mind.
Igor Sakhnovsky
We continue our series of publishing contemporary Russian literature in translation—stories you won't find anywhere else, unfortunately—with a novelist who turns Mr. and Mrs. Nabokov into objects of captivation. Don't miss out on your chance to win a gift card from Powells.com.
Jess Walter
Our man in Boston sits down with the author of The Financial Lives of the Poets to talk about his latest novel, how to survive in Hollywood, the ins and outs of contemporary publishing, and that unheralded Paris of the Northwest, Spokane.
Anna Starobinets
Today we're launching a new series of contemporary Russian literature, with six stories in six months, including interviews with their authors, sponsored by Powells.com. Will one of them blow your mind? We begin with the "Queen of Russian Horror."
Oscar Hijuelos
Our man in Boston talks to the Pulitzer-winning novelist about his new memoir, Thoughts Without Cigarettes, as well as nights in New York, parks in Berlin, how publishing currently compares to Indian restaurants, what life would be like if Mambo Kings hadn't hit it big, and the difficulties of writ
Ben Katchor
Our man in Boston talks to author and artist Ben Katchor about the history of picture-stories—from the days when literature included drawings to our current world of (sadly) more purified genres.
The Monkey's Paw
A foreign talisman holds great power, but those who use it do so at their peril. In the grand TMN tradition of celebrating Halloween, our editors and writers create new endings to a well-known scary story.
Aleph-Mem-Tet
Having fulfilled his duty once again and with the most imminent dangers receding into the distance, it’s time to depart. The Golem posts his final entry.
The Two Shmuels
The day-to-day returns, but the sense of danger is still palpable to the Golem and Ruth. Reluctantly, he returns to his blog, this time with a prompt.
True Story
A pause in the action, as the Golem recounts important moments in the brothels and strip clubs from his past, both recent and not-so-recent.
Torpedo
On the run from the kidnappers, the Golem remembers the child he first met when he too was new.
What Mad Pursuit
After his odd job draws to a close, the Golem, still on protection duty, realizes a new task lies ahead.
On Surrender
The day after being roped into his latest protection duties, The Golem faces new threats—and a history of unstoppable devotion.
On Protection
“From the day Samuel Halevi pointed at the little boy lecturing to a passel of scholars and said, ‘He carries a bright flame. No one must put it out,’ I was a protector.” The Golem falls into an old role.
Bad Trips
We asked our staff and readers to rewrite the end of Lost. Spoiler alert! But not really, when you consider you'd have to flash-sideways to experience the alternative realities ahead.
I’m Your Man
Ruth catches up on the blog, and a reader entreats The Golem to explain the intricacies of his relationship.
Travel Tips We Learned the Hard Way
As we carve out weekends for summer vacations and welcome loved ones home from across the volcanic ash-strewn pond, our staff and readers share their hard-earned trip advice.
Here Lies the Elephant Bird
Running across a story about a shrimp-like creature that survived where few thought anything could live, the Golem recalls the time he hunted the Aepyornis.
No Blog Is an Island
After a friend comments on the antisocial nature of this blog, The Golem ruminates on the true purpose of blogging, and whether “first” is more meaningful than previously thought.
Serving Someone
Even a being formed out of clay a thousand years ago has to make a living in today’s world. The Golem returns, and reveals an array of especially odd jobs.
Moving Ground
When there are heavy tolls on human life, there are questions of faith. Some turn to it; others blame it. The Golem has seen this happen before.
Marked Man
The tricky part about blogging is knowing where to draw the line about what’s revealed. After his last post raised some eyebrows, the Golem addresses the whole eating thing.
New Year's Realizations
Before tackling our shortcomings in January, we thought it would be good to celebrate the year in personal bests. Our staff and readers share their proudest moments.
I Meme Mine
One post in, and it’s time to assess what went right and what went wrong; or it would be, if a questionnaire didn’t take precedence. The Golem gets tagged by the internet.
When the Lights Went Out
At 4:15 p.m. on Aug. 14, 2003, tens of millions of people across the Northeast and Midwest U.S. and Ontario were suddenly without power. Our staff and readers tell us what happened next.
Things We're Denying Ourselves
A recession looms at the door--before it arrives, we have an opportunity to improve our minds, bodies, and wallets. Though we may soon be denying ourselves more than pleasures, this is what we're omitting right now.
How Everything Turned Out
When refugees from another planet make contact and ask for help, Earth’s web geeks should help them, right? A tale of Non-Earthers, online social networks, and memorable sunsets.
Home: An NPR Radio Expedition
Visits home can wear down even the best of us, but when heard in excruciating detail can become absolutely…excruciating. Jessica Francis Kane presents an audio adventure at her parents’ house.
Never Say Neverland Again
A contest was recently held to find someone to write the official “Peter Pan” sequel. Though author Geraldine McCaughrean was chosen from hundreds of candidates, here are openings from a number of rejected applications.
Greetings From the Mercer Mobile Home Community Zoo
Political battles! Injured children! Mange! You’ve wondered what goes on inside the bureaucracy that is your local mobile-home community’s zoo—now we let you in.
Orientalism: Yes or No?
It’s one thing to be a Westerner with a healthy respect and admiration for Eastern cultures; it’s another to make your son wear a hijab to soccer practice in order to intimidate opponents. Pasha Malla helps us sort through a few case studies in Orientalism.
Pledge of Allegiance
It’s pledge drive season again! And this time everybody’s getting in on the action. Matthew Baldwin sneaks into the studio and watches as those Social Security reforms take on an entirely different medium.
How Many Names Hath God?
No matter when we say the word God, whether in church or in vain, couldn’t we all use a couple synonyms for the all-mighty one? MICHAEL ROTTMAN examines the many possibilities, e.g., Abraham, or Clapton.
Trials and Tribulations
How do you tell a judicial buff that the real-life courtroom is more Night Court than Perry Mason? Send him to jury duty twice in two years, that’s how. Matthew Baldwin gets his civic duty on.
Diaries of Andy Warhol, Terrorism Czar
The White House has found trouble in recent weeks with its security appointments, so the president boldly takes a new approach. Our writer reports on Andy Warhol's installation as the ultimate (and silvery) homeland defense.
The Six Wives of Henry LaGrange
Henry LaGrange has a very big problem. And when he isn’t struggling with his dissertation, bribing his thesis advisor, or marrying multiple women, his problem only gets bigger and bigger. Fiction by Tobias Seamon.
Testimonial From a Moderately Satisfied Customer of Singles Canoes
Dating is impossible: Your friends have only so many friends to set you up with, co-workers are off-limits, and online services are icky and cold. Luckily singles can now turn to Singles Canoes, a new service we hadn’t heard of.
The Plotlines Against America
Philip Roth’s bestselling new novel, The Plot Against America, depicts a U.S. that elects Charles Lindbergh over F.D.R. in the 1940 presidential election. Lindbergh’s documented anti-Semitic stance is put into action, and the book goes great distances to retain believability. How? As always—with top
A Few Bad Apples
Following the public outrage and scandal, after the hospitalizations and quarantines, the Unified Fruit Crop Corporation offers a helpful list of questions and answers to address your many concerns about the problem with its fruit.
The Silence of the Muse
After a lifetime of rejection slips, publishing can be a trying, if not life-threatening, business. A history of correspondence between a desperate poet and his unfortunate editor.
Give Me a Sign
Political conventions exist for the cameras, and the cameras like to see audiences with a sea of signs. But where do all those banners come from?
So You’ve Been Taken Prisoner by a Billionaire Colombian Drug Lord
“We’re going to get you out of this alive and make Mendoza pay. But you’ve got to follow my directions to the letter—because Mendoza’s got Jenny, your wife.” A field guide by Delta Force Col. Tom Smits.
Transcripts of OnStar Service Conversations Not Selected for Commercials
You’ve heard the spots, where the helpful voice of the OnStar satellite representative rushes to the aid of the panicked motorist. But have you heard them all? JOHN WARNER digs through the transcripts that didn’t make the final cut.
Rick James Meets Fay Wray in Heaven (A Very Short Play)
America lost two great artists this week, musician Rick James and actress Fay Wray. Let’s sit in on their introduction at the pearly gates.
Since She Died
When a friend dies, your memories can absorb your every waking moment. And also your dreams. SARAH HEPOLA lives through the pain, the joy of remembrance, and the responsibility of both. Here is her story of love and loss.
Natural Selection
With no prospects for a girlfriend and his level of physical fitness plummeting, Matt Evans reads Darwin in hope of personal evolution, and then embarks upon a journey of cardiovascular and self-improvement. With unexpected results.
If on a summer's vacation...
Now past the halfway-mark for summer, we’ve all either taken our summer vacations or we’re still planning where to go. For those of us who fall into the latter camp, beware your choices. THE WRITERS remember ways summer vacations have gone so horribly wrong.
Weddingchanneled
Planning a wedding is a detailed job: narrowing down the wedding party, choosing flowers, and deciding between the white food processor and the chrome one. Our writer discovers the business of wedding registries, and learns how to make it work for her.
My Sister Moses
Family BBQs can be great summer fun, until someone finds a dead body under the back porch. Then it’s time to bust out the cedar chips. A story of lawn maintenance, abusive parenting, and hot Marines.
The Last Queen Fan in America
The names Freddie, Roger, Brian, and John may not mean much to many ’80s music fans, but to one writer they were the best of the decade: Queen, ever the champions.
Sentences of Discontent
Someone has to write the next Da Vinci Code, why shouldn’t it be you? To kick-start the writing process, Tobias Seamon brings us a batch of great first lines guaranteed to get your blockbuster off to a best-selling start.
The LiveJournal of Zachary Marsh
An awfully different young man graduates from high school and quickly learns more than he bargained about snack foods, ducks, and a secret family history.
What's the Frequency, Musad?
When ruling parties win with 99.8 percent of the vote, Middle East-style elections can be confusing for Westerners.
Waiting for George
Zipping to Monte Carlo, dropping by diamond shows on yachts, gazing at the languid models: All in a day’s work during Grand Prix weekend. But please, asks Preston Johns, where are the real celebrities?
Ego Trip
There are many adventures to be found off the beaten path, and some may involve minstrels. Former Peace Corps volunteer and sometime hero Matthew Baldwin recalls a day-long hike in Bolivia.
A Course Guide to Literary Readings
These days, literary readings aren’t as boring as they should be. But what for the budding author or poet, still in school, who doesn’t know how to smash a guitar or bake a cobbler onstage?
A Love Affair With Maps
Maps represent our locations, they can serve as a reminder of where we’ve been, and they sometimes show us the best route to the mall. Our writer charts a personal history across the changing lines of his home state.
Australia’s Mightiest Heroes
Wherever there is trouble, from marketing to marsupials, they will protect. Super-genius and superhero Dick Smith hatches a new era of costumes and secret identities.
My Brush with Terrorism
Being paged at the airport can sometimes be a lucky break, until it’s a federal investigation. A bag search, substance analysis, and interrogation later, you can forget being upgraded to first class.
Donald Rumsfeld Is Wrong
Predicting the future is a touchy business, especially if you’re banking on the outcome. Our writer reports on a personal history of predictions gone right, wrong, and somewhere in between.
Coming This November
The presidential race is heating up. And at this point, it's anybody's game. So, who will be ready to take the oath, and who will be sent home in disgrace? Here's preview of what we can expect this fall.
That's All I’m Going to Say for Now
An ill-planned duck hunting trip sours under the media scrutiny. Justice Scalia makes a firm statement, and our writer tails him through a day of saying not much else.
I Was a 10-Year-Old Political Consultant
Leading a political campaign can be a thankless job, as ex-Dean-campaign manager Joe Trippi well knows. But what if your candidate isn’t a Democrat from Vermont, but a woodland creature? Our writer recalls his electioneering days.
Bright Nights, Big Mountains
The Sundance Film Festival may have a hard time maintaining its indie credibility, but as a magnet for celebrities there is little doubt about its powers. After a few days of film in Park City,our writer looks back.
Happy Endings
With today’s final taping of Friends, fans across the country wonder what’s in store for TV’s six pals. Will Rachel and Ross finally find romance? Will Joey’s career take off? Our writer is ready with spoilers for the final episode in May.
The Way of Nigella
What Jamie Oliver does for young ladies with his pestle, Nigella Lawson does for men who love a summer’s plump tomatoes. But, as Pitchaya Sudbanthad explains, what Lawson does with monkeys is a whole different story.
Progress Reports: Fourth Quarter 2003
The Institute of Improbable Research has the means to make the impossible happen. From losing a loser’s viriginity to building the best coach in the world, JOHN WARNER has their year-end results.
Free Red Wine and Other Humiliations
Your parents and friends enjoy Christmas for similar reasons: your personal embarrassment, shame, and discomfort, assuming you’ve behaved badly enough to warrant their bowls full of jelly.
Rules for the Holidays
Surviving relatives, co-workers, and lovers drugged by cheer is easier when there are guidelines for action. THE EDITORS share some tips to help keep your step-dad’s paws off your Christmas sweater.
Life in the Fishbowl
It may take a village to raise a child, but it takes an American to teach him how to armpit-fart. Former Peace Corps Volunteer and temporary Bolivian celebrity Matthew Baldwin remembers his days in-country.
Welcome Back From Baghdad, Mr. President
After taking off on a top-secret Thanksgiving Day jaunt to Baghdad, President Bush appears to be on a mission to be the Badass-in-Chief. Or are there other motives at work? Our writer chases the paper trail.
Thriller
The allegations have set a fire in the media and a guilty verdict in the public’s mind. But the reason anyone cares at all in the first place is the music. Writer and once-Michael SARAH HEPOLA recalls what his landmark album means to her.
The Headhunter’s Trophy Case
The headhunter is up for tenure, and is more than ready to settle a few misconceptions with a stroll through his most prized pieces. A story by Tobias Seamon, with art by Joshua Allen.
The Matrwich
The Bush administration’s decisions and policies have often confounded even its closest allies—are they living in a different world than the rest of us? MATTHEW BALDWIN suspects a trip down a certain rabbit hole may turn up some answers.
Sunlit Pictures: A War Album
Conflict is an unchanging part of our society, and only seems in remission when it’s not at our own doorstep. Tobias Seamon offers a collection of vignettes about war and its constant presence in our lives.
The Man Who Was Hook
Nothing says Halloween like a gutted teenager, or some other urban legend told around the candy bag. But hasn’t everyone already heard the ending? THE WRITERS band together for a dozen new ways to finish your story.
The Bellow/Parcells Letters
Forget worrying over book contracts, alcoholism, or unwanted kids—where do Nobel laureate authors turn for advice on their hair? Discovering the lost correspondence between two great authors.
Fuego! Fuego!
The Peace Corps has ambitious goals for its programs and participants, though setting a pueblo on fire isn’t one of them. Former Corps member Matthew Baldwin recounts the early days in San Pedro, Bolivia, before his infamy.
Certifiable
Sure, teaching isn’t for everyone. Finding that out may be difficult, but the awful truth that drives many out of the classroom, screaming, is even harder to lern learn. Our writer was a teacher.
Madalyn Murray O'Hair In Hell: The Mad Minister From Circle Six, Part I
In the fourth chapter of Madalyn’s adventures in the underworld, a controversial film has Hell up in arms! KEVIN GUILFOILE continues the saga of everyone’s favorite atheist sleuth.
TiVo’d
Technology can be a scary thing, in the wrong hands. Luckily, there’s help. A visit with an analyst about a personal video problem.
The Lonely Days
Many people have their own holidays—grandparents, secretaries, certain dead presidents—but what about the ordinary man, lost in this modern world? A global brochure of holidays for men who are alone.
Neocons, Midwives, and Me
After Ozzfest and Gigli, Howard Dean was the show to see this summer. Ace reporter Matthew ‘Punch’ Baldwin attended a rally with two friends who, for very different reasons, want Dean to win the primary.