Volley 2

Prior to the last week I began working on a speech for Barack Obama:

Fortunately for Obama, he's a cooler customer than me because the McCain Daily Freakout Express coupled with the Palin Gibberish Train have managed to drag McCain's candidacy lower than Michael Moore's scrotum in a 160 degree sauna all in the span of ten days. When I watch the debates I am indeed tied to that CNN focus group dial tracking like it's my EKG reading, and in looking at the audience reactions to each candidate I was pretty sure the Obama was putting a very quiet and understated beat down on his republican rival. To an undecided voter Obama would have looked reasonable, concerned and measured. McCain was a crank. Every time McCain went into one of his "great moments in the history of John McCain" spiels, the dials looked like the Dow whenever news of a bailout deal looked unlikely. A perfect example of how the debate plays to an undecided voter came with my own personal favorite moment, when both candidates sparred over custody of a many times discredited war criminal. Now, you know and I know and the tie-dye wearing radicals of Berkeley know that Kissinger has his very own suite in Hell waiting for him, but the undecided voter only remembers that he's the guy who talks funny and maybe knows something. I'm sure that this drove the Obama's liberal supporters crazy, but the pragmatists among us should take it as a sign that he means to win. McCain's central argument seems to be that he should be president because he should be president, but that's not an argument at all. It's like a parent telling his kid they can't have something because they're the parent and they said so. His emphasis on cutting earmarks as the lynchpin to federal fiscal sanity is like an NFL head coaching candidate saying that he's going to make sure all the players have tied their shoes before they hit the field, a perfectly good idea that means absolutely nothing. So, at the moment, things are looking good for Obama, but with the economic meltdown, President of the United States is looking like the booby prize. Quick quiz, and death is not an option: Which job would you rather have, President of the United States or general manager of the Detroit Lions?