Pasha Malla

TMN Contributing Writer Pasha Malla is the author of two books: The Withdrawal Method (stories) and All Our Grandfathers Are Ghosts (poems).

Your Final Lay

Of the free games included with Windows, none is more treacherous than Spider Solitaire. In the final installment by KEVIN DOLGIN & PASHA MALLA, the master sets the apprentice free. (The Spider and the Fly | October 7, 2009)

Prune Versus Plum

Of the free games included with Windows, none is more treacherous than Spider Solitaire. In the latest installment by KEVIN DOLGIN & PASHA MALLA, the apprentice loses faith while the master eats breakfast. (The Spider and the Fly | August 13, 2009)

Are We Not Men?

Of the free games included with Windows, none is more treacherous than Spider Solitaire. In the latest installment by KEVIN DOLGIN & PASHA MALLA, the apprentice gnashes teeth, rends hair. (The Spider and the Fly | July 7, 2009)

The Initiation

Of the free games included with Windows, none is more treacherous than Spider Solitaire. In the latest installment by KEVIN DOLGIN & PASHA MALLA, the master assesses the first hand. (The Spider and the Fly | June 18, 2009)

Your First Lay

Of the free games included with Windows, none is more treacherous than Spider Solitaire. In the second installment of a new series by KEVIN DOLGIN & PASHA MALLA, the master sets the tutelage in motion. (The Spider and the Fly | May 21, 2009)

Viva Print

As the industry stands ready to pulp entire newsstands, devotees of periodicals refuse to give up on their first love. Our READERS AND WRITERS extol their favorite ink-based publications. (Of Recent Note | May 1, 2009)

The Opening Gambit

In the pantheon of free computer games included with Windows, one strikes fear into the hearts of competitors: Spider Solitaire. In the first installment of a new series by KEVIN DOLGIN & PASHA MALLA, the student addresses the master. (The Spider and the Fly | April 16, 2009)

Does He Love You?

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. Following his popular guide regarding girls, and just in time for Valentine’s Day, PASHA MALLA helps you figure out if the ideal man digs you or not. (The Non-Expert | February 6, 2009)

Broken Resolutions

Three weeks ago, you swore you’d stop smoking and start running. So far, you’ve only jogged to the bodega. The TMN READERS AND WRITERS know your shame, and confess their lack of resolve. (Of Recent Note | January 22, 2009)

2008

From unearthed media to otherworldly technology to reflection on a personal and economic level, the year was filled with things of every shape, size, and significance. THE WRITERS give us the best of what they noted. (Of Recent Note | December 19, 2008)

How to Go Caroling

‘Tis the season to be jolly, all over the cul-de-sac, on your neighbors’ porches, against your neighbors’ most fervent holiday wishes. PASHA MALLA goes fa la la la la, la la la la. (Guides | December 18, 2008)

Fall Food

From wild mushrooms to alcoholic tea, Thanksgiving casseroles to the perfect pumpkin chocolate chip cookies, here are the TMN WRITERS’ favorite foodstuffs for autumn. (Of Recent Note | November 6, 2008)

Boats We Missed

From acclaimed television series to all-over-your-radar bands to the web site even your grandmother knows about, here are the phenomena that the TMN READERS AND WRITERS, until recently, missed out on. (Of Recent Note | October 1, 2008)

The Hot ______ of the Summer

In times of respite, the mind settles, focusing on what’s really relevant. Here are the TMN READERS’ AND WRITERS’ hot picks: the jam that fueled parties all summer long, the show we turned down the A/C to hear, and more. (Of Recent Note | August 28, 2008)

Vacation Destinations

With Memorial Day just around the corner, our thoughts are turning to getting the heck out of town. Where to? Well, the TMN READERS AND WRITERS have some recommendations. (Of Recent Note | May 22, 2008)

5:20 to Jaipur

What does it say about you if one of the most notable themes of your travel tales is the way you kept breaking out into hysterical laughter? NICOLE PASULKA and PASHA MALLA on expectations and prejudices. (Conversation Piece | March 25, 2008)

Movies for What Ails You

It’s winter, and chances are you’re sick or you’re about to be. Even though you may feel like you’d rather curl up and die, we recommend curling up with a good movie instead—and THE WRITERS’ answer to most ailments is Jimmy Stewart. (Of Recent Note | February 22, 2008)

Exercise Gear

How many fitness-inspired New Year’s resolutions does it take to beat down the average individual? How many recommended items of exercise paraphernalia from THE WRITERS does it take to rebuild one’s spirit? The answer is: never enough. (Of Recent Note | January 24, 2008)

Hangover Cures

Robert Benchley once quipped, “The only cure for a real hangover is death.” Though ultimately true, right now there are holiday parties to attend. THE WRITERS offer solutions for the morning after. (Of Recent Note | December 13, 2007)

Good Morning

On the way home to Canada, PASHA MALLA struggles to focus on India’s future even as one of its own children wails in his ear. The conclusion of his travel diary. (Going Back to Kali | November 20, 2007)

Lessons in Humility

In a flying trip to Bombay, PASHA MALLA encounters the ghost of Gandhi and considers how the late leader’s values intersect with those of today’s hard-charging India. The next installment of his travel journal. (Going Back to Kali | November 6, 2007)

Once More, With Feeling

Some call Wes Anderson’s new movie, The Darjeeling Limited, mounting evidence of the filmmaker’s racism—others, of his inability to make a decent film. MIKE BAKER and PASHA MALLA address both camps, and make room for improvement. (Conversation Piece | October 24, 2007)

Making It

A visit to the technology hub that is Bangalore reveals a modern city with vibrant nightlife and a surprisingly literary police force, during the latest stop in PASHA MALLA’s travelogue. (Going Back to Kali | October 16, 2007)

Breaking Bread

A long-awaited history lesson from a cousin turns into an education on religion and politics in post-partition Kashmir for PASHA MALLA, in the seventh installment of his travel journal. (Going Back to Kali | October 2, 2007)

Fall Fashion

You’ve heard from Marc Jacobs, Proenza Schouler, and Chloe Sevigny on what to wear this season. Now it’s our turn. The monthly round-up from THE WRITERS on what appeals, this time from their closets. (Of Recent Note | September 18, 2007)

Henna, and Coca-Cola

The wedding arrives, and PASHA MALLA finds his role is more than just that of guest. But playing the pious Hindu “brother” doesn’t come easy. The sixth in a series of travel essays. (Going Back to Kali | September 11, 2007)

Paradise Lost?

As relatives gather for a wedding, PASHA MALLA faces tough questions about why his family moved away from Jammu and Kashmir and tries to figure out what, exactly, they left behind. Part five of his travel journal. (Going Back to Kali | August 21, 2007)

When We Go North

Along bumpy roads and past intimidating border posts, PASHA MALLA heads north for his cousin’s wedding and discovers safety might be just a state of mind, in the fourth installment in his travel journal. (Going Back to Kali | August 7, 2007)

New Money

On a trip back to India, PASHA MALLA sees the shining new face of the country’s idealistic business elite—and also the not-so-shining parts. The third installment in a series of travel essays. (Going Back to Kali | July 24, 2007)

A Couple of My Dad’s Lives

On a trip back to India, PASHA MALLA sets his itinerary in search of his past. He gets up close and personal in a nation of arranged marriages, in the second installment in his travel journal. (Going Back to Kali | July 10, 2007)

Namaskar, Goodnight

On a trip back to India, PASHA MALLA sets his itinerary in search of his past. But in an ever-changing country, history can be difficult to find. The first in a series of travel essays. (Going Back to Kali | June 19, 2007)

Our Favorite Gifts

The most meaningful gifts are so personal they cannot simply be plucked from the shelves of a store—but sometimes we need a little help. Turning holiday inspiration into shopping salvation, THE WRITERS recall their fondest gift memories. (Guides | December 15, 2006)

Violence in the Zócalo

Following the death of an American journalist, the rest of the world is taking notice of the declining situation in Oaxaca. PASHA MALLA interviews his sister Anna, who watched the peace unravel first-hand this summer. (Politics | November 2, 2006)

The Vanishing Date

Halloween: time for stories of headless horsemen, escaped psychos with hooks for hands, and ghosts other than the white-sheet variety. But the same stories year after year can get a little dull. THE WRITERS retell a scary tale. (Spoofs & Satire | October 31, 2006)

Toronto

Toronto’s new mayor has prompted a revival of civic spirit, including a push to celebrate the city’s public spaces. But what if your experiences in its parks are memorable for all the wrong reasons? PASHA MALLA has the next stop in our parks series. (A Walk in the Park | August 24, 2006)

May 2006

It’s the last Wednesday of the month, so it’s time for another episode of what THE WRITERS have recently been loving: restaurants in California, television in Japan, vitamin-laced candy, and more. (Of Recent Note | May 31, 2006)

April 2006

It’s the last Wednesday of the month, so it’s time for another page of what THE WRITERS have been watching, reading, eating, hearing, quaffing, and loving oh so much. (Of Recent Note | April 26, 2006)

For March 2006

A new month of what THE WRITERS have been watching, reading, eating, drinking, hearing, and enjoying. (Of Recent Note | March 29, 2006)

Brushes With the Law

Who knew what evil once lurked in the hearts of THE WRITERS? Arsonists, accomplices, troublemakers all, here are nine lives of crime, cut short. (Personal Essays | March 22, 2006)

The Cast of Blossom vs. Wu-Tang Clan

It’s true that this year’s South by Southwest music festival brought a number of unlikely musical pairings to the stage. Few, says PASHA MALLA, were as unlikely as Joey Lawrence and Raekwon. (Whoa!) (Spoofs & Satire | March 21, 2006)

Holiday Travel Hell

It’s a toss-up for what’s worse about Thanksgiving: visiting the family homestead, or simply getting there. Travel stories by THE WRITERS, collected by intern Nicole Pasulka. (Personal Essays | November 22, 2005)

Take Your Seat, Please

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week PASHA MALLA answers a question that has plagued us all since the day after we invented plumbing. (The Non-Expert | November 11, 2005)

The Last Hurrah of the Mash-Ups

All of these unlikely musical pairings are bound to get unlikable soon. But rest assured somebody out there will still appreciate the effort. Reviews of the very last of the famous international long-playing records. (Spoofs & Satire | October 11, 2005)

If on a Winter’s Night, Dave Coulier

For those who knew the wacky shirts were actually a comedian’s armor. For those with an answering machine message that said “Hi dee ho!” For those who’ve ever been lost out there and all alone. Excerpts from the forthcoming Dave Coulier fan fiction anthology. (Spoofs & Satire | September 29, 2005)

Does She Love You?

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week a reader wants to know how you can tell if a girl loves you. Happily enough, PASHA MALLA knows the tests to conduct, and has the results right here. (The Non-Expert | September 23, 2005)

The GTA Crunk: Props from a Self-Skooled Rapologist

You should not hate the player; however, you should hate the game. Pasha Malla infiltrates the centre of underground hip-hop culture that is Toronto, ON, and returns with stories of being skooled and seeing bling. Def! (Personalities | June 7, 2005)

Orientalism: Yes or No?

It’s one thing to be a Westerner with a healthy respect and admiration for Eastern cultures; it’s another to make your son wear a hijab to soccer practice in order to intimidate opponents. Pasha Malla helps us sort through a few case studies in Orientalism. (Stories | March 29, 2005)

Here’s the Pitch

Space: the final frontier…of delicious cooking! Mike Baker and Pasha Malla have an exciting new idea for a cookbook that has “out of this world” recipes that are “universally appealing.” Get ready, because it’s T-minus 10 to tasty! (Personalities | February 8, 2005)

Trailers for Everyday Life

Ever wonder why your life’s not more like Mel Gibson’s? Ever think maybe it’s because he gets better narration? Pasha Malla and Mike Baker bring us a batch of movie trailers scripted for real-life scenarios. (Stories | September 13, 2004)

Great Oscar Gaffes

Every year we watch the nominations unfold, the awards change hands, and the speeches drag on. But we miss all the inappropriate jokes, drunk punches, and other such un-televisables. Mike Baker and Pasha Malla bring us the moments Oscar wished he’d never seen. (Stories | February 25, 2004)

Saturday, November 21, 2009

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