Articles Written By Eric Feezell
TMN Contributing Writer Eric Feezell‘s work has appeared at the Onion News Network and McSweeney’s, among others. He lives in Oakland, Calif.
-
Quatrain in Vain
Pope Fabulous
Pope Francis’s recent remark that he would not judge gay priests was a revolutionary moment for the church—a moment, in fact, worth twerking into verse.
-
Quatrain in Vain
Everyone Popes
Former Pope Benedict XVI has left the Vatican, returning to his former life. But even with the church’s retirement package, how can private citizenship compare? A poem for Mr. Ratzinger.
-
The Election
The Pleading of President Forty-Four
The White House has been lauded for its grassroots internet campaigns to raise money. But what happens when a man takes the president’s messages too personally?
-
Spoofs & Satire
What’s On?
With more than 70 TV show premieres this fall, who has time to watch them all? Or even know what any of them are about? With no prior knowledge of the shows’ premises, here are some guesses.
-
The Non-Expert
Man-barrass Your Way to Love
Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week, we show you how a well-chosen nickname can bend your mate’s will.
-
Spoofs & Satire
Everyone Must Go
You’ve seen the billboards and the banner ads: Judgment Day is coming on May 21. But just because you’re saved doesn’t mean you’re home-free. Brimstone Barney’s Apocalypse Surplus has just the deal for you.
-
The Non-Expert
Zodiac Gemstone Food Pairings
Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week, we offer dream analysis with multiple charts to a reader whose rice turned to rocks.
-
The Non-Expert
The Answer, My Friend
Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. To help a reader determine which Dylan album is best, we arrive at every possible solution. Introducing “Your Best Bob Dylan Album Calculator.”
-
The Non-Expert
The Gift That Keeps on Giving
Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week we advise a reader on what he should buy his girlfriend for their anniversary.
-
The Non-Expert
‘Tussin
Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week we assist a college student who’s swimming in dirty laundry and drowning in cough syrup.
-
Personal Essays
Making the Bird
To entertain themselves and their friends, two brothers formed a band, Birdhead. Now one traces the history of “the critically acclaimed power duo from Rancho Cucamonga.”
-
The Non-Expert
How to Buy a Car
Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week we demonstrate to a wary customer how best to maneuver the purchase of a new car, while keeping accidental singes to a minimum.