With the Twitter-based sitcom $#*! My Dad Says doing well on CBS, and Dear Girls Above Me and Shh…Don’t Tell Steve already in development for next season, eavesdropping Twitter feeds are proving to be a solid formula for new sitcoms.
It was only a matter of time before networks started searching Twitter for some hour-long dramas.
Psychic Cop Stepdad
Wednesdays at 10 p.m. on CBS
Police procedural based on the feed @PsychicCopStepdad.
“My stupid stepdad is a psychic cop. My mom’s an idiot for marrying him. I just write down all the stupid stuff he says when he gets a psychic vision of who the killer is.”
“With her last breath, she shouted a name. Kevin. The killer’s name is Kevin. Also, my no good stepson is lazy and disrespectful.”
“As I touch this bloody scarf, I sense the victim was a teacher and the killer her student. My stepson is a terrible student, BTW. All Ds.”
“My stepson can pay for his own college. I didn’t marry his mom just to pay for his college. What? Oh right. The killer has a scar on his face. Go find him.”
Oversexed Doctors Upstairs
Tuesdays at 10 p.m. on ABC
Romantic hospital drama based on @oversexeddrsupstairs
“I live underneath a staff of devastatingly attractive, oversexed doctors. I like to write little notes to them. ODU = Oversexed Doctors Upstairs”
“Hey ODU! “Does it ever get any easier?” “Losing a patient’s always hard.” “I can lose a patient. Its U I can’t lose.” Way to prioritize!”
“Hey ODU! “U got suspended from rotation!” “But I saved that child’s life!” “Speaking of children, I might be pregnant.” Might be? Ur doctors!”
“Hey ODU! “That was a long shift.” “Lets make love then cry because we’re both cheating on other people.” “Okay.” Do you ever just watch TV?!”
Fridays at 10 p.m. on NBC
One-hour newsmagazine show based on the feed @alarmistcubiclemate.
“I share a cubicle with a guy who loves alarming people with specious factoids that are scary to suburbanites. Here’s some of the stuff he says during the workday.”
“That stapler’s mine. You just stole it from my drawer the way 40,000 americans get their lives stolen in home invasions every year.”
“Cant access the web server, which is a relief considering 9 out of 10 people on the internet is either a child predator or an identity thief”
“Meeting’s been moved to 11, which also happens to be the average age when a child first experiments with meth in some parts of the country.”
Mondays at 9 p.m. on USA
Espionage thriller based on the feed @blackopsinlaw.
“My mother-in-law just moved in with us after she got double crossed on a black ops mission. I type the weird international intrigue she prattles on about.”
“You need 2 insulate this house. How’m I sposed to hear a tactical team rappelling from the roof with all these cold drafts blowing on me?”
“My grandchildren don’t show me respect. They should hold still when I try and sew microfilm under the skin of their scalps.”
“Can we watch Wheel of Fortune? Or should I demonstrate how to disable a man’s larynx with the spine of a Reader’s Digest?”
Sexy Singing Vampires of the 1960s
Sundays at 10 p.m. on AMC
Period horror musical based on the feed @myroommatesGFisweird.
“My roommate’s girlfriend is a real character. Not only does she work in advertising, but she acts like it’s still the 1960s. Also, she’s constantly bursting into Broadway versions of pop tunes, and I’m pretty sure she’s a vampire who loves to screw constantly. I swear all this stuff is real and not just a desperate attempt to get a TV deal. Though if this did become a show it would really push the envelope and get lots of critical attention, just saying.”
“Today I was sexually harassed, but Papa Don’t Preach! That’s just the way things go in these times. Oh look, blood. Let’s screw!”
“Come on Eileen! That’s what I sang to my advertising coworker Eileen when she considered putting her career b4 family. Blood’s awesome. I wanna have sex in fast forward now!”
“I tell ya, if my life were on TV it would really push the envelope and get lots of critical attenioon, & I love whiskey in the morning as much as I hate werewolves. Everybody cut footloose (except with shitloads of nudity)! Also, advertising!”