Ladies and gentlemen, I’m what?

Despite telehealth's expansion in the past year and a half, it has largely failed to reach about 57 million people in rural parts of the United States. / STAT

Covid-19 is killing rural Americans at twice the rate of people in urban areas. / NBC News

Britain's government-funded furlough program ended yesterday, after subsidizing nearly 12 million jobs for 18 months. / The Wall Street Journal

In major metropolitan areas, the number of eviction filings has dropped or remained flat since the Supreme Court struck down the CDC's moratorium in August. / The Washington Post

California will return a historic piece of land in Manhattan Beach to the descendants of a Black couple who were robbed of it almost a century ago. / The Los Angeles Times

Former French President Nicolas Sarkozy receives a one year sentence (to be served at home) for illegal campaign financing. / France24

China celebrates "National Day" as the government embarks on a social engineering project "on a scale unknown since Mao Zedong was China's supreme leader." / Al Jazeera

More than 350 American police officers convicted of felony crimes have already received pension payments or are eligible in the future, according to an analysis. / CNN

Among headlines we struggle to comprehend (well, we comprehend them, but you know): "Goldman Sachs Banker Turned Gen Z VC Launches TikTok Game." / Bloomberg Technology

When a plant barely exists in the natural world but lives on your windowsill, is it really endangered? / The Walrus

Related: Mick Jagger enters a dive bar in Charlotte and nobody recognizes him. / North Carolina Rabbit Hole

Profiles of Texas women who race lawn mowers. And what it's like to work full-time inside a virtual world. / Texas Monthly, Immersed

See also: A man serenades some geese with a harmonica. / YouTube

For much of the eighteenth century, Western intellectuals chased after mermaids, trying to pin down "humanity's marine origins." / The Public Domain Review

Behind-the-scenes pictures from the new James Bond film, from a longtime official Bond photographer. / GWP

For what it's worth, Daniel Craig just learned that his saying "ladies and gentlemen..." is a meme. / The Week


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Since 1999, your Headlines are sourced and written by Andrew Womack and Rosecrans Baldwin, and arrive in your inbox, Monday through Saturday. View this edition and the latest Headlines at TMN.