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The Non-Expert

At-Home Halloween Costumes

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week we help a young woman work through a desperate situation: What to wear this year on Halloween?

Have a question? Need some advice? Ignored by everyone else? Send us your questions via email. The Non-Expert handles all subjects and is updated on Fridays, and is written by a member of The Morning News staff.

 

Question: You guys have any Halloween costumes I can put together? Last year my boyfriend and I went as a bus full of nuns in a car accident—so not happening again. —Katherine B.

Answer: How about costumes you can build with three items available in the typical American household?

Ingredients: Sunglasses, a white dress shirt, men’s briefs
Costume: Tom Cruise

Ingredients: Sunglasses, a white dress shirt, boxers
Costume: Truman Capote

Ingredients: Three cardigans
Costume: Edith Bouvier Beale (Grey Gardens)

Ingredients: Car battery, a pair of googly-eye glasses, and a Steve Gutenberg poster
Costume: Johnny Five (Short Circuit)

Ingredients: Pipes, more pipes, a ringing telephone
Costume: Danny Boy

Ingredients: White pants, white T-shirt, a bucket of red paint
Costume: A house painter

Ingredients: Black pants, white T-shirt, a bucket of red paint
Costume: A newspaper

Ingredients: Tuxedo shirt, dead body, ketchup
Costume: Vampire

Ingredients: Tuxedo shirt, dead body, Worcestershire sauce
Costume: Waiter in a vampire restaurant

Ingredients: Black turtleneck, black stretch pants, white face paint
Costume: Mime

Ingredients: Black turtleneck, black stretch pants, pixie appeal
Costume: GAP commercial

Ingredients: Three pairs of socks
Costume: A dog

Ingredients: Karate top, tube socks, Maglite
Costume: Luke Skywalker

Ingredients: Three footnotes
Costume: Mark Foley (because they come on the bottom of a page)

Ingredients: Two bungee cords and a blond wig
Costume: Marilyn Monroe

Ingredients: Bandana, cowboy hat, toy gun
Costume: John Wayne

Ingredients: Bandana, clown make-up, real gun
Costume: John Wayne Gacy

Ingredients: Three pairs of contact lenses
Costume: Steve Buscemi

Ingredients: The truth, three chords, red guitar
Costume: Bob Dylan

Ingredients: The truth, three chords, red iPod
Costume: Bono

Ingredients: Bone, thugs, and harmony
Costume: Bone Thugs-N-Harmony

Ingredients: Black shirt, black leather pants
Costume: David Copperfield

Ingredients: Black shirt, black leather pants, concho belt
Costume: Sexy David Copperfield

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