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Craigslist in Baghdad: Missed Connections

Some people are there to sell a cheap computer. Others to divulge a personal rant, but let’s face it: Most people go to Craigslist for the missed connections.

At the infidel café—f4m (Suq al Ghazi)

You: Tall, lean, brave yet frightened, with a bomb strapped to your abdomen. I saw you enter and our eyes locked in a meaningful gaze. But then the look in your eyes changed. Did you have second thoughts? About our destinies together? You dashed out the door, and only the explosion a few moments later told me which direction you had run. Just wanted to know if you are alive. Email me.

I saw you at the Presidential Palace Mess Hall—m4m (Occupied Baghdad)

You: Bulging biceps in your khaki Marine casual. Your tattoo of the Hawaiian hula dancer was intriguing; your butt in those pants was something more. I sat there playing my platoon poker game, smoking a cigar, failing to pretend to be interested in the few women in the place. (Don’t) ask and I (will) tell you everything. Email me.

Man by the jukebox (Occupied Baghdad)

Was that you, Rumsfeld, in the Green Tavern in the Zone Friday night? You came to town without calling?

Democracy lives (Sadr City)

You: Sniper on the rooftop. Me: Voting for the first time. Just wanted you to know that, haha, you missed me.

You are gorgeous! m4f (Al Karradah)

This is crazy, but here goes. You: Raven hair tumbling over your shoulders, dazed, bloodied, probably suffering from shock in the aftermath of the bombing at the hospital. Me: in a similar condition. Through my haze I noticed you and I wanted to say hello. But the shrapnel in various body parts told me to lie down and moan just as you approached and passed by, presumably seeking medical help. Coffee? Email me.

Shall we “meet” again, 99? (Occupied Baghdad)

You: my “friend” with the Russian “embassy,” the one who was supposed to “meet” me for “a drink” at Crazy 8s in the Zone. Me: Chinese “reporter” who’s been actively seeking “some fun while away from home.” I don’t like being stood up, especially on a “blind date.” Email me with an “explanation.”

Rescue me! (Khamis ash Shahin)

You: an airplane out of this godforsaken place. Me: deserter. If I meet you on the western runway tonight, after midnight, will you show? Though we’ve never met, I think I’m in love with you. Email me.