A round-up of satirical headlines for stories about morning routines.

“What Time Do You Wake Up? Write It in the Comments and I Will Tell You Why You Are Bad and Lazy Compared with Me, a 3:15 a.m. Waker-er Upper Who Owns Not One but Two Vitamix Blenders”

A round-up of satirical headlines for stories about supposedly life-improving morning routines.

↩︎ The New Yorker

Mar 16, 2023

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It was exciting. So I guess I didn't feel anything negative. And afterwards I definitely got a lot of messages from people that I've known for a long time—catching up, saying that's pretty cool.

Interview with the Uber engineer who recently faced Mark Zuckerberg in a jiu-jitsu tournament.

↩︎ GQ

Greenpeace says recycling actually makes plastics more hazardous to human health.

↩︎ dezeen 1w

An investigation finds unreported attacks that killed or wounded hundreds of Cambodian civilians during Kissinger's tenure.

↩︎ The Intercept 1w

It’s the hyper-feminine romanticization of your wardrobe, with extra lace, frills, pearls, and silk pieces that represent the idea of a European vacation more than they reflect actual European fashion trends.

American TikTok users experience “Europecore” by turning off their air conditioning.

↩︎ Nylon

A cosmetics company and an influencer get knocked for using a school shooting to sell a beauty product.

↩︎ High Snobiety 1w

Somes notes on how the ProPublica reporters dug up and broke the Clarence Thomas story.

↩︎ Slate 1w

Some variations of incomplete cubes by Sol LeWitt (and others). That is to say, "all the ways of the cube not being complete."

↩︎ Flashbak 1w

“Ever breathe a frequency?” Report from a recent sound experience in France where alphorn players met Catholic protesters.

↩︎ Pitchfork 1w

“Personally, I think ‘eat the rich’ is quite acceptable right now.” Recent signals from Rosecrans Baldwin’s travel diary.

↩︎ Meditations in an Emergency 1w

Doxa means common belief or popular opinion and comes from verb δοκεῖν dokein, “to appear”, “to seem”, “to think” and “to accept.”

A dozen terms from Ancient Greek that are perhaps worthy of a comeback.

↩︎ Classical Wisdom

A man holding up a sign on the street saw “greatness” in the Los Angeles Lakers when no one else did.

↩︎ The New York Times 3w

The secrets of an obituary writer. "For a newspaper beat, there's nothing like it.”

↩︎ Meditations in an Emergency 3w

A video inquiry as to why so many hair and nail salons feature “Nagel women.”

Maya Bernstein-Schalet recalls the pandemic through dishes cooked.

↩︎ Waxing & Waning 3w

A selection of paintings and extremely detailed preparatory drawings by artist Nathan Walsh.

↩︎ Booooooom 3w

Photographs of “daredevils posed at Yosemite’s cliff edges in days of yore.”

↩︎ California Sun 4w

How to make people appreciate you more during Zoom meetings. "Loudness, it turns out, isn't as good a metric as intensity."

↩︎ Business Insider 4w

How to preserve a medieval Italian ghost town. "Members also take on low-cost maintenance activities such as weeding."

↩︎ Atlas Obscura 4w

Maybe the butterfly is the current “it” animal, taking on the title from owls and llamas and sloths and unicorns. In 2021, birds captured our attention as we all felt caged. Now, newly hatched from our cocoons, we have space to fly.

Some musings on why so many people, celebrities included, have a butterfly tattooed on their sternum.

↩︎ The Trend Report

May 2, 2023

The cutting edge of coffee drinks features "freeze-distilled" and "cryo-desiccated" milk.

↩︎ Sprudge May 2, 2023

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