Dear The Morning News,

I love you, and wish I wasn’t an impoverished student so I could give you money. Because I would. I especially love “The Education of Elisabeth Eckleman” (alliteration! yes!) and am sad that it isn’t already in novel form so I could stay up all night reading it instead of doing homework. I completely understand the pain people in America felt when Charles Dickens’s books were serialized. It’s difficult. This last installment did indeed have a difficult dilemma. But I made her go to her study session because if I had to miss drooling on Conor Oberst when he came to Chicago then so does she, the bitch.

Love,
Alaine

Dear Alaine,

We’re glad you love Elisabeth. We love her, too! And we’re also fond of you for writing and we hope Elisabeth decides to take your sage advice. Or not. As she decides.

Love,

the editors