Thank you, Goodyear, for keeping us safe.
The Morning News has an opening for an intern, beginning this September. First, we’d like to thank our departing intern, Samantha, who has served us well for the past eight months, and leaves on Wednesday for more profitable climes in Bolivia to sell organs. Second, we’d like to throw open the doors to new candidates.
Candidates should send an email, with no attachments, to . It should include the following:
+ One paragraph about why they’d like to intern with TMN.
+ One paragraph about their favorite story on TMN.
+ One paragraph about who they are, what they’re up to, why they’d be a good fit, their full contact info and blood history, yadda yadda yadda.
Candidates should possess:
+ A computer. And an internet connection.
+ Working knowledge of online publishing, online media, web magazines, blogs, [INSERT NEW MEDIA CATCHPHRASE HERE].
+ Previous experience with bags, cats.
Interns will be expected to work up to 10 hours/week for no pay. Tasks will probably include web research, light editorial duties, and dry cleaning. We repeat, this is an unpaid internship. However, should the winning candidate live in New York City, we will probably get them hammered at some point, assuming they’re of age.