Letters From the Editor
Two Observations While Grocery Shopping
Relieved, I resume scanning The Onion.
2. The butcher at Ottomanelli & Sons Meat Market, after selling me 3 lbs. of beef and a pound of venison sausages they make onsite and are relatively notorious for, asks me how old I am. ‘25,’ I say. ‘Why?’
‘Well, there’s some liquor in these sausages; I thought I’d have to card you.’
A few minutes later, Murray’s Cheese Shop is happy to sell me two illegal (raw milk) French cheeses (1, 2.) Union Square Wine & Spirits rings up three bottles of Barbera wine and never asks for my I.D.
My plan tonight is to get boozed up on sausages and wreck my grill into a bus full of children.