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Udderly Smooth Udder Cream

As a young child, I was shocked and horrified to learn that the lotion my father regularly applied to his hands was, in fact, udder cream. As in it had the word "teat" on the label. Years later, I find out he was on to something. Udderly Smooth Udder Cream is greaseless, scentless, and will leave your skin softer than you thought possible. The company does make a hand and body lotion aimed at bipeds, but I suspect that's just for the faint-at-heart.
biopic

TMN Editor Beth Milton lives in Brooklyn, works in Manhattan, left her heart in Virginia, and owes some guy in Copenhagen 200 kroner. You can email her here. More by Beth Milton

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