Rosie O’Donnell is leaving The View. Shh, shh, little bear, it’s going to be OK. I know what you’re wondering. You’re wondering: What will my day be like without a kneejerk, vaguely incoherent lesbian to organize my day? Watch this video. Why? Because it would piss off Elizabeth Hasselbeck and that’s reason enough.



Somebody put together this 30-minute clip of ‘80s cartoon introductions. If this doesn’t distract you for at least 10 minutes, then I don’t even know you anymore.



So, Jack Black sang on American Idol this week. Have you been watching AI? Honestly, he was the best singer this season.



Ross the intern, who made a name for himself on the Tonight Show, has started his own video blog. Of course he has! Do you feel a little bit like Ross the intern might be living your life, if you’d bothered to apply for that internship at the Tonight Show? Well, this won’t change your mind.



However excited you are, about whatever is happening in you life, I defy you to be this excited.



Also, I defy you to do this (untrue; Sarah is not defying you to do anything, least of all attempt a crippling spinal injury at TMN’s behest—ed.).



Finally, no matter what you do, you will never be this adorable. Because you can never, ever beat a hamster and his first broccoli.

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