Video Digest: July 13, 2007

Question authority: Will an iPhone blend? Will Shirley Bassey make a comeback? Will Britt Daniel save up for a suit? Will the Scientologists win? Will kittens get any cuter?

The other day I saw a woman wobbling down the street in high heels, texting someone as she walked. You see these people every so often in New York, weaving around like a Kennedy after a July 4th celebration, when really they’re hunting for the backspace button. So this woman was sort of winding down an empty sidewalk dramatically when her heel caught, twisted, and she landed spread-eagle on the cement. “Oh my God!” said the woman next to me, running over to her. “Is that an iPhone?”

Good lord, the iPhone. I still don’t even know what they do. What do I care? I’m stuck with this crappy Nokia for the next six billing cycles. In the meantime, geeks everywhere rejoice as Tom Dickson asks the most important question: “Will it blend?”

Shirley Bassey is the throaty alto behind the classic Bond theme songs to Goldfinger and Diamonds Are Forever. Now a foxy 70-year-old, she decided to jump back into the mainstream with cover of Pink’s “Get This Party Started.” Obviously.

I don’t know how much Spoon pays for their videos, but perhaps Britt Daniel could just pocket that money for a nice white linen suit. Somehow, this stupid little yellow robot thingie is like the most adorable dancer since, I don’t know, Webster.

Don’t get me started on Scientology. OK, do—but give me about an hour and a stiff vodka tonic. This week, Scientology posted their own video on YouTube discussing the evils of psychiatry: “They basically believe that everyone is mentally ill.” Oh, Scientology. You’re giving me engrams.

And, of course: a kitten eating corn.

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