Candy cigarettes were on my mind this week, because I saw this ad for children’s beer. Sheesh, back in my day, children drank real beer. Fake beer is for sissies.
This seems like an appropriate time to segue to a discussion of Sicko, Michael Moore’s documentary about the healthcare industry. The trailer was recently released, and it looks just as exciting, hilarious, infuriating, and factually loosey-goosey as any Moore tour de force. Maybe by the time it comes out, I’ll actually have insurance.
There is no other way to break this to you: The next clip is a man getting a massage from baby goats. People, this goes on for five minutes. And maybe all the nicotine and cyanide are getting to me, but it’s also kind of zen, the visual equivalent of pan flute and a waterfall sculpture. Like, wouldn’t this world be awesome if the baby goats could travel with you? If you could unfold them in your hotel and let them pad all around your sore trapezium? Next time my back is sore, I’m visiting a farm.
And then, we have a clip from Wheel of Fortune. Eh, big deal, right? Except this Wheel of Fortune features James Brown, Little Richard, Weird Al Yankovic, and Lee Greenwood? I know, I know: It’s my fantasy dinner party, too. For some reason (drugs), Little Richard and James Brown are playing as a team. Poor James. The last time he tried to buy a vowel, he smoked it all under the bridge in one hit.
I know you would never forgive me if I didn’t leave you with this clip of a kitten in a box. Ladies and gentlemen, that kitten is not giving up the box. Long live the box kitten. See you next week.