Aww, shucks, he said, sweetly, and did a little drumroll on the bar with his fingers.
I left so fast, I’m surprised I didn’t crash through the glass door.
I learned an important lesson that day: Never introduce yourself to celebrities. You have nothing to say to them. They have nothing to say to you. And most of the time, you won’t get off as easy as I did. For more evidence, enjoy this sketch from Ricky Gervais’ Extras, with a brilliant cameo by David Bowie.
Despite that lesson, I still manage to embarrass myself in front of celebrities. That’s why I appreciate it when they embarrass themselves. Recently Cracked Magazine assembled a list they called Top 5 Most Ridiculous Celebrity Cameos in Japanese Ads. My favorite is this Michael J. Fox ad, because its inscrutability stands up to repeat viewings.
This Duran Duran ad for Suntory Whisky Q wasn’t included in that roundup, though it’s ridiculous and confusing. But ladies, notice how their cheekbones really pop.
Celebrities don’t have to go halfway around the globe to make ridiculous appearances in commercials. Andy Warhol did it right here in America, with the help of Sonny Liston, who is clearly not getting paid by the word.
The terms celebrity and embarrassing are relative terms on YouTube, however. By the end of last week, the must-see clip was from a mysterious Tamil movie starring Superstar Indian actor Rajinikath. But the real star was a pop-and-locking midget who smokes. Or, as the video’s description summed it up: dancing litte superstar with our big superstar!!!he dance like usher!!yeah!! I don’t know if he dances like Usher, but he makes me wanna something. Anyway, another scene from the film was soon found and posted. And how long could it be before we see a story about that midget in the Times?