Taking Stock

We’re All NASDAQ Symbols Now

We’re All NASDAQ Symbols Now
From Francesco Masci’s "The Twitter Issue"

Facebook’s recent redesign has been more discussed than the Palestinian statehood bid in the United Nations, but with less debate. People hate it. People find it confusing. People don’t like their “likes” and new friend connections being exposed on other people’s “tickers” like so many stock prices.

Perhaps bigamists have it the worst:

“You must refrain from changing your relationship status to “It’s Complicated,” regardless of how true it may seem. To monogamists, a status change signals marital instability. This will only attract inquisitive wall posts and potential temptations from ex-paramours and those meddlesome divorcees from your kids’ elementary school. For crying out loud, you’ve already got two beds to fill—don’t be greedy.”

Francesco Masci’s portraits of intellectuals being seduced by Twitter birds also comes to mind.

In “Photo Finish,” Jeffrey Essmann recounts finding his dead father on Facebook, very much to his surprise.

And to those who write open-ended letters on Facebook, bemoaning the new redesign or Justin Bieber’s latest haircut, Teddy Wayne has some advice:

Intervention by letter is an emotionally unhealthy way to address something. If you’re upset about something, therapists often do recommend writing a letter to the person who has upset you—but not sending it.

Finally, when the internet’s got you down, just remember, it does contain 100 ways to say I love you, by Paul Ford—and maybe we’re biased, but isn’t Paul one of those people whom the entire internet agrees it loves?

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