Headlines Here Y'all

Friday headlines: She’s literally a potato.

The White House invokes the Defense Production Act for ventilator manufacturing.

Google will start releasing user location data in 131 countries, “aggregated and anonymized,” to assess the effectiveness of social distancing rules. 

The Earth is actually moving less, thanks to the coronavirus.

Related/unrelated: Mars may be made of “mashed-up baby planets.”

Anyone in Iceland can be tested for the coronavirus. As a point of comparison, the US has tested roughly 0.34 percent of the total population.

The White House is expected to urge Americans to wear face coverings in public.

The Onion: Los Angeles mayor urges residents to wear face masks, lose 15 pounds, maybe go brunette.

Japan’s Prime Minister Abe offers the public two masks each. “Screw your two masks" quickly begins trending on Twitter.

Malaysia advises women to wear lipstick during lockdown and not nag their husbands.

A ranked list of the best and worst of celebrities warning people about the coronavirus.

See also: How famous TV characters are weathering the storm.

“You’re not stuck at home, you’re safe at home.” Confessions of an anonymous New York City EMT.

An American marooned in Moscow's locked-down airport is advised by the US embassy to make a run for Finland.

Finnish artist Liisa Hietanen knits life-size men and women from her hometown.

“We need you to be here so we’re all sheltering in place together.” Interviews with private chefs cooking for the wealthy during lockdown.

For anyone having bugout fantasies: a wood-clad camper that expands to become a two-story dwelling.

Some vintage Defense Department schemes for surviving a thermonuclear attack. Also, a list of the ugliest cars ever made.

The National Library of Scotland digitizes the first eight editions of the Encyclopaedia Britannica, 1768-1860.

Dolly Parton now reads bedtime stories to children on YouTube.

During a video meeting, a woman accidentally turned herself into a potato and couldn’t figure out how to fix it.

In case you missed it, this week wrapped up the 2020 Tournament of Books, presented by Field Notes. Catch the final decisions over here!