The Guilfoile-Warner Papers

Nov 4-3

First polls close in less than 20 minutes and I've started drinking. I blame the Obama campaign because they sent me this:

If you aren't already out canvassing, Barack needs your help right now--our data indicates that the results will be very close in many states. I can't emphasize enough how urgent this message is. Please go to and start calling as soon as you can.

We are not going to hit our goal of 1,000,000 calls for today without your help.

Can you call now and continue for as long as you can manage?

"Very close in many states." I notice they don't say which ones, but honestly, do they have to worry me like this? It's like when your teenager is out past curfew (do teenagers still have curfews?) and they call home and start with, "Everything is fine, but..." Maybe this is just a pre-planned strategy, like the Labor Day auto dealers claiming all inventory must go and prices will never be this low again...until the next sale a month later, but man, I just want to see some actual results.

TMN contributing writer John Warner’s first novel, The Funny Man was recently published by Soho Press. He teaches at the College of Charleston and is co-color commentator for The Morning News Tournament of Books. More by John Warner

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