Headlines from November 9, 2006

It's National Fig Month, according to the Dull Men's Club.
From car bombs in Baghdad to food pantries in Brooklyn.
Not everybody is giggling at Madonna.
He boasted in his memoirs that if he went down in espionage history, it should be for perfecting the use of sex in spying.
My neurohormones whipped from black misery to shining ebullience, saturating my brain in a boiling cauldron of epinephrine and endorphins. A cognitive neuroscientist on Who Wants to be a Millionaire?
There's really only one path to a self-inflicted scorched colon--and the video is here.
Sam's Club practically giving Cessnas away at $3 million a plane.
Everything, even lock-picking, is more fun in comic book form.
TMN's Matthew Baldwin bags a neologism.
Video: Proof that Bono couldn't write ad copy.
How to wing Thanksgiving.
Knowing the British roots of U.S. celebrities makes Americans feel one level worse about themselves.
"Hey, You Got Something To Eat?" by A Goat.
Some humans interbred with neanderthals. Come on, like you wouldn't.
Associated Press calls Virginia Senate race for Democrat Webb--sorry, "Senator-elect" Webb.
"Soft-spoken," "tough-minded," and critical of the administration's failures in Iraq: Ladies and gentlemen, meet your new Secretary of Defense, Robert Gates.
He seemed to greet defeat with an air of relief, as though the results had allowed him to abandon an all-is-well pretense that was increasingly at odds with his actual political circumstances.
Bush acknowledges there will be a lot of changes, but immediate withdrawal from Iraq won't be part of it.
Suicide bomber kills 41 army recruits at a training ground--in Pakistan.
Israelis attack Gaza neighborhood, killing 18 Palestinians, including eight children and six women.
"I'm very happy because he's the defense secretary who invaded us and made our lives miserable." What Iraqis think of Rumsfeld's departure.
Rumsfeld's greatest hits--and misses.
Why the Democrats won: because they talked about an unpopular war, because the religious bloc switched parties.
Conservative pundits' reactions to the election come with offers for group hugs.
In Digest, Andrew Womack wonders what he should listen to.
Testing out Domino's "Brooklyn-style pizza" in Brooklyn--both slices are foldable.
Man incarcerated for trying to kill his wife hopes prison will finally keep him from making support payments.
Women belong in the House and not making delicious roasts for Senators.
The election-night graphics that passed muster.
Camp behind Jesus Camp documentary shut down, which surely has nothing to do with disgraced minister Haggard's appearance in the film.
Almost every candidate endorsed by Bloomberg won on Tuesday.
Turkey's headscarf soul-searching.
A plea to channel your Wikipedia vandalism energy toward chickens.