June 2004 Archives
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Stories
The Last Queen Fan in America
The names Freddie, Roger, Brian, and John may not mean much to many ’80s music fans, but to DANIEL NESTER they were the best of the decade: Queen, ever the champions.
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Listening
The Cure, The Cure
After a decade in the wilderness, mired in irrelevance, the Cure, at last? After misconceived covers of Bowie and the Doors, after multiple flits through a revolving door of band...
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Gary Benchley, Rock Star
Getting the Band Together, Part II
Benchley continues to assemble his band, though finding the perfect hot chick drummer turns out to be harder than he anticipated. That, and keeping his roommate from starting a taxidermy collection.
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Letters From the Editor
Introducing Claire Miccio
After spending the past school year abroad in Scotland, where she learned how to fall asleep during a drum ‘n’ bass marathon, how to appreciate football, and how to stop...
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Stories
Sentences of Discontent
Someone has to write the next Da Vinci Code, why shouldn’t it be you? To kick-start the writing process, Tobias Seamon brings us a batch of great first lines guaranteed to get your blockbuster off to a best-selling start.
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Reader Letters
Slightly Off-Target
I am a fan of the Non-Expert’s expertise, which has been useful to me on occasion, especially your answer to the “Women: What For?” question. My affection compels me...
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The Non-Expert
Removing
Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week we show the proper way to dispose of a trashcan, then explain how to remove food smells that repel your significant other. Also: the problem with toaster ovens.
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Personalities
Letters from Edinburgh: Return to Sender
In the final installment of her letters from Scotland, our writer returns home with a heart full of remembrance for the experiences she’s had, as well as for friends she’s made in her time abroad.
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Birnbaum v.
Michael Lewis
Author Michael Lewis talks about his wave-making book Moneyball and the current state of baseball, plus what’s good and bad with journalism today, Red Sox paranoia, and the joys of screenwriting.
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Listening
The Thermals, Fuckin A
Punk rock, though its definitions vary, can be seen wherever a message determines its music. If that’s true, then the Thermals are very, very punk rock—which is hardly...
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How To
The Art of the Cure
Using salt to preserve meat goes back to the Egyptians, but curing pork in a small New York apartment? A guide to making guanciale—including, do not plan to hang your jowls at your mother-in-law’s—with recipes for the finished product.
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Letters From the Editor
We Will Eat This Every Night and We Will Be Happy
I’ve eaten this salad (recipe below) twice in the last week, and to call it one of the best salads I’ve ever had would be like calling Vice...
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Stories
The LiveJournal of Zachary Marsh
An awfully different young man graduates from high school and quickly learns more than he bargained about snack foods, ducks, and a secret family history.
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The Non-Expert
Zodiac
Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week we enter the astrological realm to reveal the meanings behind your birth sign, and explain why everyone finds Scorpios annoying.
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Gary Benchley, Rock Star
Getting the Band Together, Part I
Benchley begins to make his dreams come true: time to assemble the band. But the gap between buying a guitar and playing one proves wider than expected, and it may only be Depeche Mode who can save the day.
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Gallery
Portraits of Homeless Men
This past Monday, 36,782 homeless people spent the night in a New York City shelter; the number who slept on the street is impossible to ascertain. TMN illustrator Danny Gregory brings us the stories of three men without homes.
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Listening
Rhythm of Black Lines, Human Hand, Animal Band
From a world borne of one part heretofore-unimagined prog beauty and a little bit of Austin, Tex., comes the latest release from Rhythm of Black Lines. This isn’t prog...
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Stories
What’s the Frequency, Musad?
When ruling parties win with 99.8 percent of the vote, Middle East-style elections can be confusing for Westerners. Luckily we’ve had the Dan Rather of Arab news, Musad Abir, all these years to guide us on election night. SHAWN O’NEAL looks back on some of the highlights.
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Letters From the Editor
1,000,000 Strong & Growing
This is a note from both Andrew and me: TMN has just passed the million mark for page views—in May, we served 1,070,300 pages—and we’d like to take...
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Opinions
Confessions of a Hired Belly
Roaming Italy for a perfect risotto, or sampling the new Bordeaux while staying in four-star resorts—the life of a food and travel writer rarely evokes pity. But is that only because its hardships haven’t been explained?
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Reader Letters
Watch Your Head
“A backwards plus upside-down freestyle stroke, for which many swimmers wear goggles. Why?” If it is all right, I would like to answer the question. I swam competitively from 1996-2001...
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Letters From the Editor
Cuttlefish, I Am Thine
My sister moved to Venice, Italy for a job so we went to visit her with my parents for a week. I had never been there; my wife was last...
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The Non-Expert
Swim
Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week we instruct you on the basics of swimming, with many of the most popular strokes explained in detail. Except for the double-trudgen—because come on.
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Of Recent Note
For Summer 2004
Of interest lately are special books, catchy songs, lovely clothes, and a slew of other wonderful items we’ve collectively enjoyed the last few weeks, and now wish to pass along for your very own summer pleasure.
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Stories
Waiting for George
Zipping to Monte Carlo, dropping by diamond shows on yachts, gazing at the languid models: All in a day’s work during Grand Prix weekend. But please, asks Preston Johns, where are the real celebrities?
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Reader Letters
No Veggies in New York. None.
Having just looked through the photo essay “Appetite,” I’m wondering if Geoff Badner would even RECOGNIZE a vegetable? Look, I’m not a ranting vegan hippie or anything, but...
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Gallery
Appetite
If you could choose, would you forgo the hassles of eating forever? The arguments in its favor are compelling, but finding an answer is difficult. Searching for a solution, Geoffrey Badner photographs a week’s worth of food.
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Reader Letters
An Ian, Not an An
I regret to inform you that residents of Alabama go by the appellation “Alabamians,” not “Alabamans.” I thought this was pretty silly when I moved here, but ‘tis so. That...
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Letters From the Editor
We are Mainly Ians & Ans
Last week we published a link in our headlines wherein we used the word “Indianaian” to describe a person from Indiana. This, according to our eagle-eyed copy editor, Kate Schlegel,...
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Birnbaum v.
Jim Harrison
Our man in New Hampshire talks with Jim Harrison, author extraordinaire, about life in Montana, female chauvinism, navel-gazing in New York, and how a good MFA program might be established.
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The Non-Expert
Home Surgery
Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week we show you how to mend common household wounds with a handful of band-aids, a bottle of ipecac, and a healthy dose of resolve.
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Spoofs & Satire
Tanks for the Memories
America hasn’t been the same since Bob Hope died. Now—at war around the world—when we need him most, who will challenge the pompous and self-righteous?
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Letters From the Editor
The Day After The Day After Tomorrow
Long live summer. Or, long live escape plans to leave Brooklyn for nicer places. People have been worried about New York’s reaction to this new movie The Day After...
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Letters From the Editor
Hugs Without Love
Saturday, 3:00 p.m., Washington Square Park [clean-looking man wearing a tight T-shirt rushes over; he’s not making eye contact] “Would you like a hug today?” “No thanks.” [he rushes...
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Reader Letters
A Marked Difference of Opinion
Mr. Murphy, After reading your article on felt-tip markers and the effects of huffing, I can only conclude you are obviously brain-damaged. No citizen, parent or otherwise caring person would...
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Opinions
Following My First Mind
If pop music can change lives, then the process must begin someplace in the mind, and more likely in images than words. Our writer sends us a postcard from the backyard of his brain, where Sinead O’Connor shares time with the Talking Heads.