May 2002 Archives
-
Stories
Dude, You’re Getting a Dell and Other Success Stories
It is a truth universally acknowledged that an actor not in possession of a private fortune must be in want of a commercial. Lessons learned on how to win the audition.
-
Letters From London
Royal Memories
As Britain prepares for the Golden Jubilee—the 50th anniversary of the Queen’s throning—a reflection on the pomp, circumstance, and correctly colored ties in the monarch/subject relationship.
-
Listening
The Mere, The Mere
Athens, Georgia’s The Mere is Jacob Flint. Oh, the name? It’s because he ‘wanted a band name that was short and said nothing about him at all.’ The...
-
Opinions
What Are You, Drunk?
A new study on binge drinking from the Harvard School of Public Health slides off the stool, falls down, and admits that it really didn’t know what it was talking about earlier, with all that “research” business.
-
Behind the Scenes
Pirates and the Navy
Once the scourge of the seven seas, now fuel for ARGHHH… jokes and the parrot industry, pirates seem better suited for Disney World than the Atlantic. However, the Navy was attacked last month by a band of unwashed scurvyites.
-
Stories
Read the Fucking Manual
An anthology of new work from seventeen writers with websites, including many writers published here and in better places. Available for free as a downloadable PDF—it’s the book to be seen with this season.
-
Personalities
The Secret Machines
The very extraordinary Secret Machines, en masse, spoke to ANDREW WOMACK about scaring the audience, the recording of September 000, and potluck dinners.
-
Op-Ed
Hella, Hold Your Horse Is
-
Opinions
Rules of the New Restroom
We’ve all seen the “Employees Must Wash Hands” and “No Smoking” signs in bathrooms. But what about other common sense rules? How are we to know what’s permissible, and what’s just plain wrong?
-
Opinions
The Case for Cocktails
Fifty years ago, men ordered Manhattans, women drank Mai Tais, and no one brought guns to school. The logic is irrefutable.
-
New York, New York
Heart of Greenness
New Yorkers, as a rule, fear rats. You see them in the rivers, in your bedroom, sometimes drinking coffee on the subway. A boat ride on the Gowanus.
-
Retrospectives
Ten Great Beatles Moments
Universally beloved, the Beatles changed everything with their personality, their experiments, and, of course, their music. Because, “With the Beatles, the music is the point,” John Lennon said, and “you have all this great music.”
-
People
Justin Sinkovich
The co-founder of the best MP3 site on the Internet, Epitonic, and member of bands Atombombpocketknife, Poison Arrows, Tranquil Eyes, and Thumbnail praises hard work and recalls getting electrocuted on stage.
-
Listening
Moviola, Rumors of the Faithful
Dirty, soulful pop reminiscent of Alex Chilton, The Byrds, and Neil Young. Kind of. Okay, no—here’s what it’s like: all of Big Star and Crosby, Stills, & Nash...
-
New York, New York
Typography in the Sun
When people applaud or boo the newly risen New York Sun, it’s usually for political or editorial reasons. Rarely does anyone mention the paper’s design, a noteworthy if nostalgic broadsheet on the newsrack.
-
Spoofs & Satire
Casual Fan Fiction
A story based on characters in the popular NBC drama The West Wing written by a guy who usually runs the vacuum between Ed and Law & Order.
-
New York, New York
New York Stub Scene
If you happen to leave early from a show at the Philharmonic, be prepared to be asked for your ticket. No, not by an usher, but by a young would-be concert goer who’ll either take your seat or talk trash behind your back.
-
New York, New York
Guide to New York Jargon
You’re probably familiar with “Fugget about it,” “Assa matta pa you,” or the timeless “Fuck Off.” But we felt it was time to update New York’s jargon, and have compiled a list for the contemporary dweller.
-
Opinions
Zan: Summertime Superhero
You don’t have a house in the Hamptons, you don’t have a pool; hell, you don’t even have central air conditioning. Face it: The only thing that will save you this summer is a miracle, or a superhero.
-
Listening
Skywave, Don’t Say Slow
Soaring, searing noise-pop reminiscent of The Jesus and Mary Chain’s best moments, this EP from up-and-coming Virginia band Skywave is eminently listenable and ultimately rewarding for those willing to...
-
People
Amy Krouse Rosenthal
Writers’ Block Party creator and author Amy Krouse Rosenthal answers the ten questions, explaining how she found some joy in a sock.
-
Opinions
The Early Lines
The Early Lines are a good band. But they could be a great band. Advice on how they can get over the hump.
-
Stories
Songs From the Big Chair
Music can inspire nostalgia, assigning memories to songs we relish, or would prefer to forget. Elephant-minded JOSHUA ALLEN remembers each track from Songs from the Big Chair by Tears for Fears and sifts the music for a little personal history.
-
Men's Fashion
Part 4, Conclusion
A few tips of advice to how to wear a tie, hold an umbrella, and arrange your wallet to win when your lover goes a-spyin’.
-
New York, New York
The Cursed, the Blessed, and the Inept
There are a variety of reasons why our beloved New York/New Jersey sports teams lose: lack of ability, poor management, or long-standing hexes or curses. The lowdown on which teams are under the watchful gaze of a cloven-hooved beast.
-
Personalities
A Chat With Penny, Chatterbot
Computers are taking over the world, and recently they’ve started talking back.
-
Stories
The Mediator on Gay Marriage
Before arguments come to a head, they should come to The Mediator. Here The Mediator solves an issue rife with debate: gay marriage. KEVIN GUILFOILE reports on the new ground rules.