Headlines from November 30, 2006

Al Gore admits the Onion had it right with the headline, "Gores Enjoying Best Sex of Their Lives."
Number of street children in Congo's capital has swelled to 20,000, with many shunned as "witches."
New Yorkers (and their children), prepare for the holiday train garden.
Anatomical breakdown of the White House motorcade.
Hawking: Mankind must abandon ship, seek other planets to ensure long-term survival.
Third-world Tancredo won't quit picking on Florida.
Naked crack-smoking Florida man attacked by alligator.
It would come eventually: The Mii Lebowski, also, documenting Nintendo Wii-induced screen destruction since 2006.
If the Roomba is a waste of money, why not equip a remote-controlled car with a Swiffer?
Good examples of gifts that are anything but (e.g., bamboo).
Pictures of outlandish Christmas-light displays.
Need holiday cards? Save the earth at the same time.
Ladies and gentlemen, the roller toaster. See also, the arctic meal in a box.
The chess sets and other devices that helped POWs escape in WWII.
District game warden says he's seen a couple of antlered does over the years, but for a doe to have a well-developed rack is unusual.
Seven wonders in each of the 50 states.
"Graceful exit" from Iraq has "no realism to it at all," says Bush.
Dutch pedophile politicos propose sex ed. in kindergarten, intercourse at 12, whoring no earlier than 16.
A rich history of recent art crimes.
Winner to be announced tonight for "unconvincing, perfunctory, embarrassing or redundant sex scene in an otherwise sound literary novel."
Contenders for this year's Lemon Award, the worst in bad banking.
Beyond embiggens and cromulent. Advanced linguistics and The Simpsons
Case studies involving Foreign Accent Syndrome.
The world's "first computer" undergoes scrutiny, proves its "sophistication", more valuble than the Mona Lisa.
Video: How not to play Scrabble.
New York, New York, formerly a helluva town, now a nice place to live.
"Posh plans for exciting urban living"--the Playboy town house.
Discussing deserts can make architecture professors depressed.
Stories of how certain houses came to be.
Art Spiegelman's recommendations for your holiday shopping.
How to choose and care for a live Christmas tree.