Headlines from April 3, 2013

NRA report on school security mixes up shootings, advises more guns, bulletproofing. #guns
Satellite images of Burma reveal the devastation of the Muslim community at the hands of militant Buddhists.
Roger Ebert announces new cancer diagnosis, “leave of presence” to write more about anything and everything.
Obama’s BRAIN initiative is based on data too nebulous to warrant billions in funding. #opinions
Related: Why research on duck genitalia deserves federal dollars.
President personally performs first Obamacare euthanization.
I could be your mama. Older patrons frustrated by zero-tolerance ID policies at drinking establishments.
Among Shakespeare’s other occupations: tax evader, food hoarder, price gouger.
Why the Gitmo hunger strikes could fail: Suspected terrorists rarely elicit sympathy.
A normal life simply isn’t enough for many Americans. What it’s like to get kidnapped for “fun.”
Maps of where travel warnings are in effect include all the usual suspects—except Brazil. #travel
A Chinese liquor commercial rips off the Game of Thrones intro sequence. #video
With recovery fast becoming a business, we’ll soon find ourselves with more addictions. #opinions
How Hot Topic redefined emo for the suburbs, and how it intends to survive in a post-My Chemical Romance world.
We will hold your hand and give you the time of your life. Two entrepreneurs want to make Colorado the Napa of weed.
Fraggle Rock on mortality. #video
The federal government’s sequestration continues, but Democrats and Republicans say Obama cried wolf about airline travel.
It would be easier to take conservatives seriously about gun control if they didn’t support massive military spending. #opinions
The Netherlands, Berlin’s staunch ally in pushing for budgetary discipline in Europe, falls into an economic crisis.
For your information: “Dyed sugar-water deems classical music boring.”
Egypt and America argue over the Egyptian Jon Stewart, under investigation for “psychologically affecting” citizens by joking about President Mohamed Morsi.
Andrea Seigel on “ASMR”—receiving a tingling sensation in the mind when people whisper. #audio
Day in the life of China’s “black guard,” detaining citizens who come to Beijing to file petitions and then sending them home.
Despite Assad’s claims, study finds amount of foreign fighters in Syria’s opposition isn’t many, but it’s difficult to measure.
Largest-ever survey of social class in the UK suggests there are now seven social ranks, ranging from the “Precariat” to the elite.
Is that obesity I smell on your breath? Round-up of good recent questions from Discovery.com.
Lester Bangs remembers Elvis, who gave him an “erection of the heart” in a way Mick Jagger could never match.
Composer and sound artist Diego Stocco creates duet for leaves and turntable. #video
Paintings of oil paint magnified a thousandfold. #tmn
Norwegian explorer finds forgotten cache of food on his 86th day of crossing the South Pole alone. #video
Studies support increasing scientific consensus that pre-exercise stretching is mostly unnecessary and likely counterproductive.
Rutger’s men’s basketball coach suspended for abusing players, but will keep his job. #video
Baseball games played in Civil War prison camps contributed significantly to the game’s spread after the war.