humor
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The Non-Expert
Heaven Can Wait
Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week, advice for a lovelorn atheist who wants to know if a Christian could love him back.
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Scary Stories
The Missing Bride
A bride disappears on her wedding day, never to be seen again—or will she? Continuing a grand TMN Halloween tradition, our writers and editors craft new endings to a familiar tale.
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Spoofs & Satire
MarketStrong
After resigning in disgrace from the charity he helped found and losing his sponsorship with Nike, Lance Armstrong now must cope with the leak of his new memoir—excerpted here.
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The Election
I Am Paul, Paul I Am
Preparing for Thursday’s vice presidential showdown, Republican candidate Paul Ryan consults Theodor Seuss Geisel to simplify his message so that even a child—or American voter—can understand.
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Spoofs & Satire
Dear Literary Magazine
Every day, rejections from lit mags flood the inboxes of thousands of writers the world over. Today, one writer changes all that.
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Spoofs & Satire
Fifty States of Grey
A trilogy of erotic novels are sweeping America, scheduled to sell 20 million copies this week. Here, a state-by-state guide on how the books are being adapted for local markets.
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Spoofs & Satire
Coming to a Theater Near You
With blockbusters like Snow White and the Huntsman, Zombie Overkill, and Yahtzee: Alien Invasion, it’s already a smash hit for summer movies. But serious film buffs know Summer 2013 will be even better—and we’re not just talking about Jerry Bruckheimer’s live-action Hungry Hungry Hippo Apocalypse.
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Spoofs & Satire
Doomsday Slackers
We open the bunker on doomsayers preparing for the end of civilization—but not all them will survive the first hour of armageddon.
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Spoofs & Satire
From the Files of the Dream Police
They’re waiting for you. They’re looking for you. Every single night they’re on duty, ready to drive you insane. Stories from the blotter of the men inside your brain.
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Spoofs & Satire
Our Future National Pastime
Predictions for the baseball season ahead from someone who hasn’t paid attention to sports statistics since the 1992 Orioles.
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Tournamenting
Rebellion Rules in a Conformist World
Last year, our correspondent entered a March Madness pool with brackets filled out by his mother, who knows nothing about NCAA men’s basketball. He won. Now it’s time for lightning to strike twice.
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Spoofs & Satire
Life After Long-Term Unemployment
You wanted it. You were willing to give up BBC dramas for it. Now it’s time to readjust to the working life. Welcome back.