Articles Written By Eric Feezell
TMN Contributing Writer Eric Feezell’s work has appeared at the Onion News Network and McSweeney’s, among others. He lives in Oakland, Calif.
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The Non-Expert
Happily Heifer After
Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week we point out the differences between non-organic and organic cows—in words only an organic cow would comprehend.
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The Non-Expert
Hooking It Up
Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week we apply cold logic to a hot topic: How can pre-adolescent hockey players become sexually active?
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The Non-Expert
Cat Heathens
Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week we help a reader decide whether she should send her antisocial, over-meowing feline to the big litter box in the sky.
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The Non-Expert
That Boy
Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week we help a family travel safely to Chicago, and urge them to protect their daughter from the boyfriend from hell.
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The Non-Expert
American Capitalism
Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week we help a poor man figure out how to make the system work—by any means necessary.
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The Non-Expert
Gleesome Threesome
Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week we help a confused young woman make the best of a beast with three backs.
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The Non-Expert
Second Lust
Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week we offer moral guidance to a reader who just realized their Second Life avatar bears a striking resemblance to their best friend’s wife.
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Spoofs & Satire
I Did It
When Khalid Sheikh Mohammed admitted to planning a litany of terror crimes, he was just getting started. More from the al Qaeda mastermind who can’t stop confessing.
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Spoofs & Satire
My Bloodthirsty Valentine
What says true love better than ear-shattering shrieks interspersed with low, guttural growling? If you’re in the market for a uniquely thoughtful Valentine’s Day present, we have the perfect, possibly rabies-infected gift for you.
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Spoofs & Satire
Barack to the Drawing Board
With Barack Obama’s presidential campaign underway, his advisors are working overtime to make sure their man appeals to the American public, and the first challenge is the name.
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Spoofs & Satire
Wii Feel Your Pain
Nintendo’s gaming system has thrilled many players with its motion-sensing capabilities, some to the point of harm.
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Spoofs & Satire
Googling for Trouble
The search company has asked that people tread lightly when verbing its name—but can it turn away history’s momentum?