Two Minutes and 42 Seconds in Heaven
How many horn solos does it take to kill a perfect pop song? Applying science and taste to determine the exact best length—down to the second—for the platonic song.
Joshua Allen
Haircuts
Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week we give you the skinny on some of the best tress-work we’ve sported in the past, all relevant details included.
The Headhunter’s Trophy Case
The headhunter is up for tenure, and is more than ready to settle a few misconceptions with a stroll through his most prized pieces. A story by Tobias Seamon, with art by Joshua Allen.
TiVo’d
Technology can be a scary thing, in the wrong hands. Luckily, there’s help. A visit with an analyst about a personal video problem.
Plan 63
With its credibility in the weeds, the White House must find a way to restore its public image before the next election. A privileged glimpse into what's being planned.
I Live in a Motel
Travelers know what to expect from a motel: not much, besides pornography. When our writer is forced to live in one for a month, he finds a bit more to appreciate.
The Vanishing Act
Normal evening routine: Your sister goes to her room, closes the door, and falls asleep. Normal, that is, until you never see her again. New fiction by Kevin Fanning, illustrated by Joshua Allen.
Josh’s Creepily Prescient Oscar Picks
It’s Oscar time again. But before you drop your paycheck in the office pool on who will snag Best Supporting Whatever, peruse these dead-on predictions for the winners.
Jeremy Bitz Can’t Get a Break
In the second installment of our “Jeremy Bitz: Unlucky Man” series, Joshua Allen and Rosecrans Baldwin detail a list of extremely unfortunate events in the life of one man.
Jeremy Bitz Has an Afternoon of Gross Misfortune
Some people are born lucky, others attract misfortune. Unfortunately for Jeremy Bitz, he’s the prince of the latter camp. Joshua Allen and Rosecrans Baldwin report on how a few hours can ruin a young man’s day.