The Girl on the Lawn
Forget anxiety, overcaution, or just plain unhappiness. The real problem with parenting is philosophy.
relationships
A collection of 108 issues
Our Imaginary Brother Only Watches PBS
How one family schemed to be the best TV-watchers in America.
The Low Road
Not everyone who breaks your heart is a monster. And not everyone who wounds you deserves to be wounded in return.
Everything's Amazing and Nobody's Happy
Before he was America's favorite philosopher comic, he was just another comedian out on tour. And she was the journalist he wanted to meet.
All Happy Couples Are Alike
Better to have loved and lost—and best to have written an essay about it. Surviving the Russian melodrama of young love.
When a Country Is Not a Country
In the last 25 years, more than two dozen new countries have been recognized by the international community. But secession isn’t easy, as Somaliland’s success story proves.
The Books
A couple’s decision to combine bookshelves supplies a series of revelations.
Like Pushing an Elephant Into a Volkswagen
Writers who haven’t quit their day jobs, who cram in the writing hours around full-time work, discuss juggling office life, family, and creativity.
The Long Play
A marriage in the digital era begins with an invitation to listen to a record. Rediscovering vinyl, sonic memories, and the joy of sitting down to do one single thing.
Alternate Forms for Shakespeare’s Sonnet 18
The Bard’s most famous sonnet very nearly wasn’t a Shakespearean sonnet. Rejected pairings of content and form, from rondelet to an acrostic hiding his name.
Happiness Is a Pink Gun
Mainstream country music is dominated by bros singing about girls in cutoffs and drinking tequila. But some female country artists are ready to exchange fire.
Café de La Esquina
Between love and tacos, sometimes it's better to choose tacos. Our series continues where we ask novelists to dine out, then write us something that 1) is a restaurant review; 2) is not a restaurant review.
A Brief History of Bloggering
Even a fake history of blogging—going back to the Old Internet, when HTML templates were so raw—offers insight into how we reached today’s web and survived comments.
Glad I’m Not You
The instinct to applaud boot-strapping and the comeback kid is as American as apple pie. So why does schadenfreude make us feel so good?
A Man Enough
Eventually a man who’s always in motion, always fixing something, will stop. Decline of the patriarch reveals an entire family’s vulnerability.
My Scummy Valentine
The only thing worse than Valentine's Day is a crappy Valentine's Day. A handful of TMN writers and editors dish (anonymously) on their worst dates—crying men, rugby brawls, and a dislocated sacroiliac joint.
Giving Up the Cat
After seeing “Inside Llewyn Davis” I just had one question: Where was that cat supposed to pee?
Let Football Live
Cracks are appearing in football’s helmet—injuries to athletes, injuries to the game. For one former high school and college player, the damage has gone too far.
It’s Complicated
Though mothers may gnash their teeth at forgotten flowers and missing brunches, the poets still sing of the worst Mother’s Day ever: that of Oedipus and his bride.
Heaven Can Wait
Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week, advice for a lovelorn atheist who wants to know if a Christian could love him back.
Big Blue Nights
Victory has many faces—some of them just happen to be painted. A story of violence, true love, the road from New York to Lexington, and the religion that is college basketball.
Therapist, Know Thyself
For psychotherapists, maintaining a stable, flawless public image is critical. But when a marriage and family counselor actually goes through a mid-life crisis herself, all bets are off and here come the tattoos, affairs, and professional infidelities.
Sex Lives of the Saints
Once you begin imagining yourself as the romantic lead in a novel—and convince others of it as well—you won’t want to stop.
The Things She Carried
Once a relationship is past the point of repair, once her Go Bag is packed for leaving, some things are better set down on paper than spoken aloud.
The Places You’ll Go
For those of us who are single and looking, the world is full of opportunities and just as full of all sorts of regrets. Reviews of three places with three men.
The Secret Point of Money and Power
Over time, a couple shares a bed, a past, and money. But when the relationship ends, as accounts are counted and paid, some debts are more complicated than they seem.
Holidays-in-Law
Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week, tips for a productive working vacation with your extended family.
Man-barrass Your Way to Love
Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week, we show you how a well-chosen nickname can bend your mate’s will.
The Querent
Fortunetelling is easy to ridicule, frequently misunderstood, and, for some people, extremely powerful. Unfortunately, what’s very tough to predict is what reading futures will do to the person with the cards.
Drawn to Dogs
Pet people and non-pet people are different breeds for whom inter-species communication can be impossible. Then along comes the ugliest dog in the world. A study of one heart’s redoing.
Incentivize Your Exciting New Death
You’ve died and gone to heaven. Well, unemployment is bad there, too. Sensitivity training, immigration snags, and the smell of bishops in paradise.
How the Dead Live
There’s a peculiar odor to burning hope—it’s the smell of exhaust fumes, human sweat, and a fast-food container interred under a seat cushion.
Not for Navigational Purposes
Maps are useful in jungles, classrooms, and when you need to cross a bombing ground during a storm. But they’re pointless when love implodes.
Who You Are and Who You Say You Are
The internet’s been tamed, social media’s a food court, and everyone is positive, full of likes. But that’s only if you buy the algorithm of conformity.
Heads of the Family
At Thanksgiving, a family takes stock of what they’re thankful for by weighing the most valuable things they own: their heads.
You Don’t Want to Do This
You walk in to your bedroom and find your girlfriend in bed with another man. Blood boils. Violence is imminent. Wait, what's that he's saying?
Mama’s Boy
After the dust settles from their own stormy relationship—and their torrid relationships with others—a daughter learns her mother’s big secret.
Bright Sun, Long Shadows
As the Cardinals fought for a playoff berth in August, I watched my father-in-law in his own personal battle. A tale of victory and loss.
Intensive Care
Every mother worries her child could suddenly become ill. For one, motherhood requires living with the fear that her son could become just like her.
Privacy Settings for Bigamists
If anyone feels the pain of Facebook’s constant privacy updates, it’s marital philanderers. But take the time to calibrate your profile, and you can put all that worry behind you.
The Other Esters
Middle school can be tough even if you don’t share your oddly spelled name with the class beauty. A tale of adolescent confusion and metamorphosis.
Finding Positive
When pregnancy showed up unbidden, a writer demands a second test, and a third, and a fourth. But then she saw a result many women spend years searching for.
The Snoring Proviso
Sharing a bed requires rules. An important addendum comes along well after the blanket allowances and closet zombies have been settled.
I Blew the Call
Whether ruining a perfect game or mistaking your mother-in-law for a man, you can’t be expected to get every call right.
The Dinner Party
Your roommate, your girlfriend, and her (and your) boss: It’s a tough table, and they’ll scrutinize your food—and your dwindling frame.
Melancholy Whores’ Memories of Gabriel García Márquez
All the magical realism in the world won't make you good in bed, or so recall the Nobel Prize winner's escorts.
Come On, Sugar, Let Me Know
Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week, we reach out to the masses on Chatroulette for advice on sexiness, with horrifying consequences.
Brief Scenes From Our Marriage
First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the Opposite of Feng Shui. A marriage, told in four parts.
The Game of Love
Anyone who says video games shouldn't appeal to adults, let alone women, has never flirted with General Carth Onassi. Exploring a virtual courtship.
Making the Bird
To entertain themselves and their friends, two brothers formed a band, Birdhead. Now one traces the history of "the critically acclaimed power duo from Rancho Cucamonga."
Jack & Ginger
Moving back to your hometown offers opportunities to rekindle old friendships—and start new ones. An 80-proof love story.
Read My Body Language
When you fold your arms or cross your legs, you unconsciously send a message that reveals your true thoughts. How to read my physical cues.
La Vache Qui Rit and Another Cow Altogether
A passion for French cinema turns into an offscreen romance. Never mind the language barrier, because the cultural barriers are so much funnier.
Pink Suede Shoes
Sometimes it takes the right pair of shoes to kick you over the edge into adulthood. For one writer, it’s other people’s shoes that do the kicking.
You’re Just Not That Into You
Looking for love in all the wrong places? Maybe you should try closer to home. Just in time for Valentine’s Day, a new book helps you ladies purge your self-loathing.
Does He Love You?
Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. Following our popular guide regarding girls, how to know if the ideal man digs you or not.
Civil Plights
Is there room for civility in Civil Rights? On the day of Obama's inauguration, facing down the moment you nearly brought President George W. Bush to task.
Love, Lies, and Online Dating
Either you've done it or you know someone who has: online dating, the scourge and savior of contemporary romance. A panel of experts discusses love 2.0.
Giant in the House
Parents can seem larger in life to their children, but some truly are giants. Recounting the death of her stepfather, for whom nothing was easier by being freakishly big.
The Secret Journal of Levi Johnston
In just a few short weeks, vice-presidential hopeful Sarah Palin's future son-in-law has traveled from the hockey rink to the political arena. What happened in between?
Frames Consigned
Parents love to appear unannounced on a grown child’s doorstep. Rarely, though, do they ship 12 cartons of belongings to precede them.
M4W: Surrogate Mother
About us: A childless couple who pines for the pitter-patter of little feet around the house. About you: Fertile, with an athletic build, and maybe a tattoo.
Unexplained Phenomena Associated With Suede
The universe has odd ways of tying fates to fabrics, destinies to a swatch. Just when he and his girlfriend were moving north, a writer recalls an odd series of events all relating to a single material.
A President for Hill View Neighborhood Watch Like My Father
We need a president who welcomes responsibility, who can connect with people of all walks of life, and who will work to make our neighborhood great again.
Three Simple Ways to Abandon Your Family
When enough is enough, when federal investigators are on your trail, or you’ve decided to marry that cocktail waitress after all—it’s time to leave.
How to Say I Love You
Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week we pull out all the stops to help a reader say "I love you," in precisely 100 different ways.
One Day on the Internet
In a world that revolves around email addresses and instant messages, much human interaction comes in bits and bytes. We spent a day keeping track of our keystrokes around the globe.
Hooking It Up
Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week we apply cold logic to a hot topic: How can pre-adolescent hockey players become sexually active?
That Boy
Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week we help a family travel safely to Chicago, and urge them to protect their daughter from the boyfriend from hell.
Sacrifice
From choosing a mousetrap to moving across the country, parenting requires tough decisions.
Northern Belle
New York is supposedly the home of the willful and headstrong, the forthright and brassy--but when a cousin from Nashville rolls into town, everyone else seems meek.
Gleesome Threesome
Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week we help a confused young woman make the best of a beast with three backs.
Blacksburg and Biography
It stunned the nation that the Virginia Tech murders took place; it shocked Virginians that they occurred in Blacksburg. A former longtime resident traces his connections to the tragedy.
I Slept With Osama bin Laden
A journey halfway around the world culminates in a cave with surprisingly romantic lighting. Spending a night with the world’s most wanted man.
Comeuppance
An adolescent tragedy forever changed Laura Bush; but instead of appreciating the sanctity of life—publicly at least—she promotes the reality of death.
My Bloodthirsty Valentine
What says true love better than ear-shattering shrieks interspersed with low, guttural growling? If you're in the market for a uniquely thoughtful Valentine's Day present, we have the perfect, possibly rabies-infected gift for you.
All Hallows
Ghost masks, trampy nurses, and razor-stuffed apples—yes. But Halloween’s true character, as a day to remember the dead, can still sneak up on you.
I Would Die 4 U
Hazing makes for hot courtship, and how better to love your woman than by hitting her in the face? Lessons learned from rewatching “Purple Rain.”
My First Time With Toots and the Maytals
When you’re young and in love, it’s not so easy to tell the difference between songs of love and songs of protest. A tale of passion and seriously critical misreadings.
Golf Is a Highly Mental Game
A guide to the major techniques, strokes, and hazards you will encounter during an average day on the links.
Kitchen Existential
What does your kitchen say about you? Worse, what does it say about your relationship? Our food writer opens his Manhattan galley to an expert on tiny kitchens—and the domestic squabbles that can explode inside them.
Reviews of Books Written by My Ex-Girlfriends
Whether I acted as catalyst or played the well-meaning muse, one thing’s for sure: My writerly exes are a prolific bunch. But are they any good?
Dating on Demand
Before you know it, married life can become routine. One way to keep things interesting is by trolling video dating services. The consequences may be greater than you think.
Bra Mitzvah: Becoming a Man Through Lingerie
Those afraid of flying get on a plane to somewhere, while acrophobes take elevators to the tops of skyscrapers. Confronting your deepest fear with a journey through a Parisian lingerie shop.
Auld Lang Syne
Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week we offer ways to avoid being kissless on New Year's Eve.
Sharing Smokes With the Holy Spirit
Bumping into an acquaintance can change your day in profound ways. This is especially true when your friend has recently died, ascended to heaven, and been reborn as a vagrant.
How the World Scores
Though people around the world may measure success in slightly different ways, there is a single scale that is universally accepted. Because, in the end, it’s all about how you made out.
Does She Love You?
Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything, even the oldest questions. Such as, how can you tell if a girl loves you or not?
Our Faded Summers
It may be something in the sunscreen, but funny things happen during summer: dehydration, Lyme disease, brief romantic flings. Collected writings of love lost and won (but mostly lost).
Accidental Cairns, Mount Savage
Natural disasters have a senseless mode of destruction--earthquakes and floods don't care about what they wreck. But what if nature seems to be deliberately trying to erase your history?
50 Ways to Leave Your Lover
Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week we pick up where Paul Simon left off and offers a multitude of ways--45, actually--to leave your lover in the dust.
Craigslist in Baghdad: Missed Connections
Some people are there to sell a cheap computer. Others to divulge a personal rant, but let’s face it: Most people go to Craigslist for the missed connections.
Online Loving & Andy Kaufman
Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week we show how to turn online friendship into internet love, and expose the truth behind Andy Kaufman's return.
Doing the Date
Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week we come to the aid of a confused, heartbroken Romeo with a story of her someone else's troubles in dating.
Pet Names
Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week we help couples understand how cute lover-names can become butt-quaking insults.
How to Write a Thank-You Note
“Sincerely, Help?” Having trouble finding the right words to thank cousin Sal for that mango slicer? How to write the perfect, honest thank-you note every time.
Broken Hearts
Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week we explain the many steps of recovery after your heart's been ripped out, stepped on, and sold for scrap.
The Wedding Party
Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week we tell you what to do when hundreds of people RSVP for your wedding and then don't show up.
What They Weren’t Worth
The Guidry and Lunton families bear children, live their lives, and die in a world bubbling over with misunderstood words and cliché.
It Must've Been Something I Hate
New Yorkers judge each other every day, but some days they get to do it in court! The dating pool of voir dire and the other joys of jury duty.